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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sat Feb 03, 2018 1:39 pm

cthia
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Something amusing comes to mind as a result of Alfred's and Allison's psychic bonding. If something untoward happens to Allison as a result of foul play and she dies, Alfred won't suffer the same fate as a treecat.

But the fat cats who perpetrated the inadvisable criminal act will surely die.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:31 am

cthia
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The raw power emanating from the long legs of a genetically enhanced horse may make you know what a missile feels like coming out of a tube.


Pavel Young thought Honor was a rocking horse, but she's genetically enhanced. That's a horse of a different color.


Honor kicks so hard a horse named Mr. Ed started talking, "Damn girl, are you a horse too?!"


Most people tell you "I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, you're gonna need a brain surgeon to get it out."

Not Honor. She says "I'm gonna put my leg so far up your ass, you're gonna think you're in a three-legged race." For a moment they may even feel like they're winning, because they're launched from the starting gate like a bullet.


During an interview, it sounded like Nimitz was bragging after the Maccabeus coup, but he was simply stating fact.

<Between Honor and I? Trust me, she's the side kick>


Hide from Honor at Thanksgiving if she claims she's gonna kick the ever lovin' stuffin' out of you.


Dumbass Pavel Young. He failed to research his prey to know she was a genetically enhanced Sphinxian. Yet he did know she was a horse. You simply don't try to pry the legs open of a horse from behind.


She kicked one of the Faithful so hard he went straight to heaven right then!


You ever heard the saying that a good CO will give his crew a swift kick in the pants if they ever needed it? Well, after everyone saw that video of the Maccabeus coup, none of Honor's crew ever needed it.


Her crew would always follow her into hell and back. And they did once. But they led her there. No one wants to follow behind a horse.


The following is a joke sent to Pavel Young with a P.S. that read "If the cat kicks you, you know you ain't gettin' any..."
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals."

The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig.

The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw you kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon."

Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
His retired locker at the club reads, "He finally kicked the bucket."


What do you call a scary female horse?
Pavel Young's worst night-mare.


Pavel Young wanted to have sex with Honor. He should have known she'd say neigh?


He won in the end, because he finally got to ride the Pony Express to hell. Georgia Sakristos said that he liked violent foreplay, so he must have died coming.


Before Pavel Young, I never heard of a horse putting a rider out to pasture.


This was once trending in Young's social circles. Why did the horse cross the road?

She wanted to kick some jackass.


Young should have tried the old college trick of bedding a girl.
He should have tried to drink her under the stable.


I'm confused. Pavel tried to rape a horse. Yet he was the one who had fallen and can't giddyup.


Young was pissed off at Honor because she rejected him after he laid his cards on the stable.


Why didn't he believe that sex wasn't gonna happen for him? It came straight from the horse's mouth.


The biggest lie he held onto is that Honor is a baseborn bitch.
But Honor is a Meyerdahl thoroughbred.


Pavel tried to rape a horse.
But she turned the stables on him.


How is a man going to rape a horse if she isn't going to take it lying down?

.
Last edited by cthia on Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:02 am, edited 9 times in total.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Feb 04, 2018 1:43 am

cthia
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Instead of the notion of terraforming Grayson, get Honor to permanently move there. In due time, all the heavy medals will have been awarded to her.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Tue Feb 06, 2018 2:22 am

cthia
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Posts: 10214
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

A visiting meteorologist on Grayson was from Honor's adolescent childhood.

His weather report on the day of Maccabeus, "It will be raining cats and dogs."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Tue Feb 06, 2018 2:57 am

cthia
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Posts: 10214
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

They made a lollipop of the Salamander.

But nobody can figure out how to lick it.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:26 am

cthia
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Posts: 10214
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

It cranks my fancy to think there's a treecat spy on the loose...

Killer, Clean Killer. 006-P38.

Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:50 pm

cthia
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Posts: 10214
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

EWSFLASH!!!!!!!! NEWSFL
Recue of Sir Lyman Carmichael and the entire delegation.



GAPING HOLE
LEFT
ON EARTH!



Persons of Interest:
  • Anton Zilwicki. Victor Cachat. Jeremy X. Thandi Palane.


"That's my father!" Says Helen Zilwicki.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sat Feb 17, 2018 11:08 pm

cthia
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Posts: 10214
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

BuPers is going to be pissed when he finds out how easy the same job is on Darius...

"We're running low on personnel! START THE PRESS!!!"

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Tue Feb 20, 2018 3:45 pm

cthia
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Posts: 10214
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Hamish & Honor


"Honor is that a jockstrap you're wearing???"

"Of course honey. I got balls too. Big ones."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:33 am

cthia
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Posts: 10214
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Let me guess. When Young attempted to rape Honor, he reached out and seized two booby traps?

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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