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Non-Honorverse one-liners

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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by cthia   » Fri Oct 20, 2017 3:16 pm

cthia
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From one of old time classic movies, "Tank."

Sheriff Buelton: They're gonna lose, General. They're goin' down in flames and you're gonna help me do it. I just got back from the governor's office, and I can have him call you or he can call your superior if that's the way you want it. But, either way, I'm gonna see some tanks rollin' out here to stop that maniac.

Maj. Gen. V.E. Hubik: Go ahead, call anyone you like, sheriff. I don't take orders from governors. Sergeant Major Carey's resigned. Besides, he's committed no major crime in my jurisdiction.

Sheriff Buelton: He stole a god damn tank!

Maj. Gen. V.E. Hubik: It's his tank he can do what he wants with it! The most I've got him on is busting a twenty foot section of fence.

Sheriff Buelton: General, I am the local civilian authority and I am hereby making a formal request of the military to do everything in its power to assist and aid me in apprehending known...

Maj. Gen. V.E. Hubik: Posse Comitatus, sir.

Sheriff Buelton: Did you call me a pussy communist?

Maj. Gen. V.E. Hubik: The U.S. Army is, by an act of congress; Posse Comitatus act, specifically precluded from enforcing civilian law outside the military reservation.

Sheriff Buelton: Pussy communist?

Maj. Gen. V.E. Hubik: That means I do not have the authority to provide you with a single piece of military equipment or personnel without a direct order from my superior or the President of the United States. I can give you his address, if you'd like.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Oct 20, 2017 10:37 pm

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Now there's one for the 'One-Liners That Should Have Been'

Sergeant Major Carey: "Heil Buelton!"
Buelton: "Wha'ju say ter me, boy?"
Carey: "I'm sorry, you just remind me of another feller used to like pushing folks around. Things did not end well for him."
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by Robert_A_Woodward   » Sat Oct 21, 2017 1:31 am

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cthia wrote:From one of old time classic movies, "Tank."

(raw: SNIP!)

[


(Looks up plot of "Tank"). Corrupt Southern sheriffs were not invented by Hollywood, consider the Battle of Athens, aka the McMinnin County War in 1946, see <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Athens_(1946)>.
----------------------------
Beowulf was bad.
(first sentence of Chapter VI of _Space Viking_ by H. Beam Piper)
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:29 am

cthia
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Robert_A_Woodward wrote:
cthia wrote:From one of old time classic movies, "Tank."

(raw: SNIP!)

[


(Looks up plot of "Tank"). Corrupt Southern sheriffs were not invented by Hollywood, consider the Battle of Athens, aka the McMinnin County War in 1946, see <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Athens_(1946)>.

Lots of great one-liners in this [full] movie.

William 'Billy' Carey: Forget this hide by day, move by night routine. We're going out on the main road, haul flat out. Let's see that cracker try and stop a tank!
[starts tank's engine]

Gov. Harold R. Sims, Tennessee: In all candor, Mrs. Carey, I would find it very difficult to put the full prestige and honor of the governorship behind a crusade led by two men in a tank with a 20-year-old prostitute.
LaDonna Carey: Governor, that's my husband and my son in that tank with that 20-year-old prostitute. If I don't have a problem with that, I fail to see why you should.

Gov. Harold R. Sims, Tennessee: Perhaps we look at it from different perspectives.
LaDonna Carey: Well, my perspective has about a dozen reporters from every TV and radio station, and newspaper you can think of, waiting for me to come outside and make a statement. Now, I'm either going to tell them that they have a governor that they can be proud of, who's willing to see that justice is done, no more, no less. Or, I'm going to tell them that their governor is an asshole!
Gov. Harold R. Sims, Tennessee: Are you threatening the Governor of this State with blackmail Mrs. Carey?
LaDonna Carey: Yes sir, I am!


Reporter: Why would anyone want to own a Sherman tank?
Zack: Because it's very hard to shoot yourself while you're cleaning it.


Deputy Euclid Baker: Someone better have a damn good reason for pounding on my door at 7 in the mornin'. Gonna spend some time in my jail.
[Exiting the Sheriff's Office]
Zack: I do believe I got you covered.
[Pointing main cannon at Deputy]
Deputy Euclid Baker: Oh, Lord.

Sheriff Buelton: Ok Sambo, Ok... You win this one... But there's more than one way to skin a cat.
Sfc. Ed Tippet, Provost Marshal's Office: You better believe there is, Jim.

Sheriff Buelton: It's going to be my great pleasure to shoot that sergeant in his privates.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sat Oct 21, 2017 11:47 am

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OK, that settles it. I have got to get that movie on disk.

I have got Support Your Local Sheriff, Support Your Local Gunfighter, Sunset and My Fellow Americans.

"Your ex-wife, she couldn't take the stress of living in the White House?"
"No, she couldn't take NOT living in the White House."

Update: Stopped by the used-disk store and got Tank. I don't remember, is there a part that goes something like:

Buelton: "Why you goin' ta so much trouble over a cheap whore?"
Carey: "You left out the part about you being her pimp."
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by Michael Everett   » Sat Oct 21, 2017 5:28 pm

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Imaginos1892 wrote:OK, that settles it. I have got to get that movie on disk.

It piqued my curiosity.
At the time of writing, I'm downloading it on iTunes (in HD!)
~~~~~~

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But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork.

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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by pappilon   » Sat Oct 21, 2017 5:38 pm

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Michael Everett wrote:
Imaginos1892 wrote:OK, that settles it. I have got to get that movie on disk.

It piqued my curiosity.
At the time of writing, I'm downloading it on iTunes (in HD!)


My fave of his movies was The Wheeler Dealers with Ray J., J. Ray and J.R. A description of his character to lee Renick's reminded me so much of The Shrub (GW Bush the younger). Don't let the cowboy boots, Stetson hat and Fake accent fool you.
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The imagination has to be trained into foresight and empathy.
Ursula K. LeGuinn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:53 pm

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OK, here's the correct quote from My Fellow Americans:

Kramer: "And how is Mrs. Douglas?"
Douglas: "We're in the middle of a divorce."
Kramer: "Oh, yeah, I knew that didn't I? Yeah, I guess life in the White House put too much of a strain on your marriage."
Douglas: "No, it was being out of the White House that Catherine couldn't stand."
Kramer: "Well, gee, that's funny, your being out of the White House went over so well with the rest of the country."

And another one: (Kramer gives the same speech with minor variations every time he opens his gob. Everybody is sick of it by now)

Kramer [on TV]: "I have always believed that dreams are like our children…"
Aide [disgusted]: "Buy a new speech, Russell."
Haney: "That dead general's the lucky one. He won't ever have to hear it again."
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:17 pm

Imaginos1892
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From Back To School with Rodney Dangerfield:

Thornton: "Awww, lay off of Vanessa. She gives good headache."

Thornton: "Bring a pitcher to this table every five minutes until somebody passes out. Then bring one every seven minutes."
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Re: Non-Honorverse one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sat Oct 28, 2017 5:19 pm

cthia
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From The Hunt for Red October.

"Central Intelligence Agency. Now, there's a contradiction in terms."


"The hardest thing about playing chicken, is knowing when to flinch."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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