Topic Actions

Topic Search

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Delos Sword and Planet series

For anyone who might want to have a side conversation...you're welcome here!
Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by lwhitehead   » Fri May 08, 2015 3:04 pm

lwhitehead
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:23 pm

Hi the Delos setting and novel series inspired by Barsoon books.


Now unlike Barsoon my natives wear clothes and the main race is elf like Space 1889 has the same type of race.

Delos has Imperial city states which fight among themselves for honor, glory and wealth.

The culture like in Barsoon was very advanced but has rotten towards a warlike state.

Now are main character and hero is a Vancouver person in 1914, the Great War has begun and he just was rejected by Canadian Armed forces for his eyes. Are hero who is a master fencer self educated person who is 6ft 4in tall, normal muscles on his body he wasn't walking side of beef age 24

The Mac Guffin that allows him to travel to Delos is a large full length mirror, one is in the Imperial city state of Sammarkand the other is in are hero's home.


OFF Topic

first off there are some things that I noticed about the Barsoon series,

1: Why are the Red Martians seem to suffer from romantic noble native sysdorme?.




LW
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by Michael Everett   » Fri May 08, 2015 3:33 pm

Michael Everett
Admiral

Posts: 2229
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:54 am
Location: Bristol, England

... another attempt at a story?
....
...
..
.
:|
.
..
...
....
Before you continue, can we please have a status report on all your other projects?

And whatever happened to your Kavi idea?
~~~~~~

I can't write anywhere near as well as Weber
But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork.

(Now on Twitter)and mentioned by RFC!
Animal Crossing Dreams at 6E00-00F5-2891
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by lwhitehead   » Sun May 10, 2015 1:44 am

lwhitehead
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:23 pm

Status report on other stories ideas paused, and will not go back to them.


Currently I reading Great War books to understand the timeframe of 1914 to 1918 specially Canada.


Now the Barsoom series is Romantic heroic fiction, however Delos will not be that at lease due that's how the start of the Great War was viewed.

Delos Imperials who live in the city state are Elven like and Human shaped. Tall in Height. Muscles well toned, Skin color Butterscotch, Hair color is Black.


Delos Imperial Culture: is based on Imperial China, and Indian and Ottoman Empire as well.

Delos Military culture:

There Armed forces based on late Shogun era Japan when firearms came to those islands, armor is based on Shogun era Japan, India and Imperial China



LW
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by Michael Everett   » Sun May 10, 2015 7:24 am

Michael Everett
Admiral

Posts: 2229
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:54 am
Location: Bristol, England

lwhitehead wrote:Status report on other stories ideas paused, and will not go back to them.

...then that isn't paused, that's abandoned.
Paused indicates that a return is possible.

Dude, seriously. Unless you actually get past the "I'm doing research, whups, looks like turning it into a viable framework is hard, I think I'll drop it for something else" mindset, success will not be an option.

Sure, I've dropped loads of potential stories myself, but if I manage to write more than 10K words for the potential stories, I see them through to the end.
And before anyone goes on about me relying on others to do the universe building (aka Fanfic), I myself have done several original stories to completion. The stories are Immortals, Lyon, Reality Bridge and Technoss Unchained. I know how hard it can be to complete a story and how long it can take, but the only way to do it is to not give up!
If you need practice writing, then by all means start with fanfic! Most of the world-building is done for you, you simply have to adapt it. Once you have got used to using the standard literary conventions (spelling, grammar, sentence construction, tenses etc), you can expand outwards from Modified Universes to Alternate Universes and then you can use the experience gained from that to create actual original universes to set the stories you wish to tell in.
Quite a few professional Star Trek authors started out with fanfic and managed to use the experience gained to make a career out of it.

If you want to actually be a writer rather than a dabbler, then giving up should not be on the menu of choices available to you. Choose one of your stories, stick to it, plan it out and bulldoze through the inevitable writers block.
But until you demonstrate you can actually take the final step from brainstorming and research to actually writing the first chapter, your future career as a writer is dead in the water.

If you want to show progress, we request the following.
1) Hero/Heroine. Name and basic back-story (not more than 200 words).
Also type of hero. Idiot Hero? Blood Knight? Snark Knight? Innocence personified? Seeking penance for past actions? Trust me, the type of hero has a major effect on the plot.
2) McGuffin. What is going to drive the plot? Revenge? An artifact? First contact? Without something to set things going, everyone will be staying at home drinking tea.
3) Map. Where is whatever happens actually happening? A simple pencil-and-paper sketch will be fine. Remember, though, that by defining the area, you can create new plot-lines. Discworld became more intricate and logical once the main city had been mapped out and used as reference.
4) Nemesis. Who is the hero up against? What does that person want? What will they do to get it and why is it a bad thing?

Simply defining societal types is nowhere near enough. You need to expand the range of your thoughts.

When you finally get the first chapter, make an account on FictionPress and post it, then give us a link to it.
LW, you've proven you can talk the talk. Now it's time for you to walk the walk.
Publish, or be commented upon... :twisted:
~~~~~~

I can't write anywhere near as well as Weber
But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork.

(Now on Twitter)and mentioned by RFC!
Animal Crossing Dreams at 6E00-00F5-2891
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by lwhitehead   » Tue May 12, 2015 7:54 pm

lwhitehead
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:23 pm

Fiction Press forum wouldn't let me on it doesn't work for me.


LW
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by Michael Everett   » Mon May 18, 2015 3:50 pm

Michael Everett
Admiral

Posts: 2229
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:54 am
Location: Bristol, England

lwhitehead wrote:Fiction Press forum wouldn't let me on it doesn't work for me.

Then another place to try is SpaceBattles which has an Original Fiction section. Set up an account and start your own thread asking for help. I'm sure that you'll get some people willing to aid you (plus one or two pointing out everything you're doing wrong, but these things happen and it'll toughen you up) but you'll get almost real-time feedback from those who are interested.
Then, once you've got portions of your first chapter written, you can cut-and-paste them and give us a link from here.
Simples.

And although I occasionally post on on SpaceBattles, I personally prefer to post on FFN, mainly because I found FFN before I came across SB and I got used to it.
~~~~~~

I can't write anywhere near as well as Weber
But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork.

(Now on Twitter)and mentioned by RFC!
Animal Crossing Dreams at 6E00-00F5-2891
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by Zakharra   » Sun May 24, 2015 3:35 pm

Zakharra
Captain of the List

Posts: 619
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:50 pm

Michael Everett wrote:
lwhitehead wrote:Fiction Press forum wouldn't let me on it doesn't work for me.

Then another place to try is SpaceBattles which has an Original Fiction section. Set up an account and start your own thread asking for help. I'm sure that you'll get some people willing to aid you (plus one or two pointing out everything you're doing wrong, but these things happen and it'll toughen you up) but you'll get almost real-time feedback from those who are interested.
Then, once you've got portions of your first chapter written, you can cut-and-paste them and give us a link from here.
Simples.

And although I occasionally post on on SpaceBattles, I personally prefer to post on FFN, mainly because I found FFN before I came across SB and I got used to it.



I have been somewhat tempted to post a fanfic story or two on Spacebattles, however the atmosphere there can be somewhat rough at times. (I read through the SB debate forums. always interesting there). I'm also not sure my stories are exactly suited for there either (they have naughty scenes in them at places. I'd have to do a good amount of rewriting of the story). As it is though, I have had a ST fanfic bouncing around in my head for a few months and I am constantly thinking and rethinking it to see if it could work. It seems interesting to me, but getting it out of my head and onto paper/computer screen is the biggest problem.

What I have written on other stories seems to be fairly well received though, so I will try for this ST one at least.
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by Michael Everett   » Sun May 24, 2015 5:03 pm

Michael Everett
Admiral

Posts: 2229
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:54 am
Location: Bristol, England

Zakharra wrote:What I have written on other stories seems to be fairly well received though, so I will try for this ST one at least.

Nice to meet another writer! Congrats!
Please, post a link so we can read you (or PM me, I'm intrigued as to your style).

LW, two other places that you may be able to publish on are Archive Of Our Own and Questionable Questing, the latter being a M-rating capable version of SpaceBattles. Both allow original stories.
Good luck.
~~~~~~

I can't write anywhere near as well as Weber
But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork.

(Now on Twitter)and mentioned by RFC!
Animal Crossing Dreams at 6E00-00F5-2891
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by lwhitehead   » Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:59 am

lwhitehead
Lieutenant (Senior Grade)

Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:23 pm

This isn't abandoned yet I'm back, you see I can't stay on one story for long periods of time.


Delos Sword and Planet series and setting is set during WW1 given that the Planet's race might have some of the same tech level or slightly lower tech then Earth.


LW
Top
Re: Delos Sword and Planet series
Post by Lord Skimper   » Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:07 am

Lord Skimper
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1727
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:49 am
Location: Calgary, Nova, Gryphon.

Perhaps you should try writing a short story and posting it here. I write short stories around my DnD characters all the time. Some are fairly good, others not so. Just give us Three paragraphs describing an incident. For instance I invent Items and Spells and post them on Red Wizard Sites. I'm not a great Author but I get my ideas across. You should try it.

Example Stone Feathers

The Red Mage walked into the town on the outskirt of the great forest. A huge orc army was moving through that forest over a hundred thirtyfive thousand strong, threatening everyone they came across. The entire town came to greet The Mage in Red, eleven thousand in total. Five hundred were veteran soldiers the rest just folk. Black Lightning, half humanish demon half drow 6'5" White hair skin as black as the darkest night sky, wearing his hoodless Red robes. He cast a spell and suddenly seven other members of the Red Cohort were standing with him. Skimper & his bodyguard Omijar, Racmore towering over everyone 7'11" half ogre Red mage, Elastra, Shambahla, Serrasta and Tinlin "the Fool" the wild magic Red mage. The Magi took equal numbers of villagers to separate parts of the village. The cattle pens, the horse stables, the wagons, Skimper lead his group into the forest, Shambahla to the cemetery with Black and Racmore. Tinlin to the small tower keep in the main square. Together they began casting a spell. Wagons changed into catapults and siege towers, villagers transformed into Red clothed warriors, undead sprang from graves, houses and the pub transformed into outer and inner walls. Several trees started to drop spears and bows and leaf woven sheaths full of arrows. All piled around a large pile of shields. A large group of wooden shield walls dotted the woods. Fourteen thousand undead skeleton warriors and zombies gathered in the main square, around them on the inner walls stood eleven thousand elite Thayan soldiers. Tinlins transformation spell went a little wrong, the five hundred veteran soldiers were still there dressed in shiny gold armour all transformed permanently into hill giants and not riding undead horses but rather astride living wyvern also permanent. Carrying small balista and armed with golden polearms thirty five feet long with wicked hooks and where their shield should have been each giant carried a long bucket full of multi coloured feathers. The feathers wedged in tightly, but can be pulled from the buckets and dropped upon orcs below. Each feather transforms into cockatrice for one full minute. Each bucket containing five feathers. If put back in the buckets the feathers will be able to be reused the next day.

The orcs never knew what hit them the third wave wandered through the trees towards the sound of combat, they were surprised to see a further forest of stone orc statues. seven thousand three hundred in total, half lay on their sides a portion of them were smashed. The scouts were wrong the easy pickings village without a wall not only had three but was surrounded by hoards of undead and thousands of elite Thayan soldiers, they were then set upon by hundreds of giants flying overhead on the backs of strange looking dragons. This was more than they bargained for and they fled pushing back the orcs behind them. Dragmock the orc general was amazed by the village defenses and more so by the huge piles of orc statues surrounded by brightly coloured feathers.

The village was renamed by the orcs as Stone Feathers from then on, eventually even the villagers started calling it that. The Orc statues eventually were collected and mounted on the outermost wall as strange gargoyles. The dead reburied, a gruesome event although half did it themselves, they stayed animated for almost two years. The giants in gold mounted on wyvern remain the elite troops of Stone Feathers. Twice more they repelled smaller human armies, The Human statues soon became part of the economy as the statues were sold to passing merchants. Even some of the Orc statues sold. Stone Feathers is a great village fortress now, The Red Cohort is treated to a great feast whenever they appear.
________________________________________
Just don't ask what is in the protein bars.
Top

Return to Free-Range Topics...