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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Tue Nov 02, 2021 8:53 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Now I can get back to my book. Company gone.
Anyway, my sister was complaining about the cost of a book of stamps nowadays. My niece turned to me and says ... "What do you suppose postage cost in the HV?" "  Yep, correspondence from Manticore to the SL has to cost an arm and a leg.""It cost a lot of arms and a lot of legs because they didn't reply." "  ""The Mandarins ended up kissing Honor's ass. It would have been a lot cheaper simply to lick a frickin' stamp." " ". Last edited by cthia on Tue Nov 02, 2021 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Tue Nov 02, 2021 12:56 pm
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Hamish broke a flywheel on Beth's Yacht
The MA is seriously rethinking the Streak Drive after it found out it is no faster than a Manticoran ship with ALL of its safety interlocks removed. Hamish blew past two Streak Boats on the way to Sol to intercept Honor. Honor would have blown up everything that moved. And everything that wasn't moving, so it wouldn't move. ****** * Report: The smallest possible skeleton crew aboard an SD 1. Honor on Bridge AND Tactical 2. Someone in Engineering to feed the Manty reactor 3. A cook to feed the Sphinxian reactor Three. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Tue Nov 02, 2021 6:04 pm
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Loaded for Gorilla
Honor rolled pods from Manticore to Sol. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Thu Nov 04, 2021 5:38 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Déjà Vu
A very horny prisoner sent correspondence to each of the Mandarins that contained, among other things, a thinly veiled threat. Should they respond this time? What is the moral of this story? The Mandarins consistently taunted a vicious beast on a leash. Then the beast was bitten by a malignant animal, broke free, and followed the scent to Sol. ****** * Timestamp From voice recordings on the bridge, the incoherent mutterings of the Salamander when she attacked Sol has now been deciphered ... "This enemy needs an enema." Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Sat Nov 13, 2021 8:50 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Declassified
Why do Apollo launches use broods of 8 missiles? Because 8-bits will take a byte out of crime. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Wed Nov 17, 2021 8:13 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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A Treecat's enemy
A loud crash was heard in the Palace. "What on Earth is the meaning of this Monroe?!" <You said I can start stuffing and mounting my grudges on the wall> "That is a hexapuma!" <Yes, Beth. I finally found that B-O-S> "Don't you mean SOB?" <No. She is the bitch of sons> The Mandarin's pardon Beowulf offered the Mandarins a pardon. When they arrived on Beowulf, they asked ... "Is it true we will get a pardon?" "Yes! Pardon the pun. Now you will spend time in OUR jail." The WOPR Terrorists hacked into the WOPR to analyze a fight with Saburo X. "The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of spades, or tiddlywinks?" ****** * When you are part of the Alignment you are married for life. But before the marriage there comes the Engagement. ****** * "Why do they call the Ballroom assassins strikers?" "I heard it comes from an old Terran game called bowling. When you get 'em all, it's called a strike." "And if you miss one?" "Then you pick up the spare." ****** * The Alignment taunts Honor in mid battle "Harrington, you are a lost Alpha line!" "No, I've got religion now. I was lost, but now I'm found." ****** * The Ballroom attempts to take new warmongers on a night out dancing to celebrate their membership "No! We mean actually dancing." "No no no people we mean cuttin' a rug not cuttin' a throat." "Listen, I'm talking about a real dance. Like a waltz." "No no no. Not Saburo X waltzing in and killing everybody!" "We're talking about a real dance. Like a tango." "No no no no no people, I don't mean tangling with Jeremy." "We don't understand. What do you mean?" "We are talking about a real Latin dance like a Cha-cha. It is based on a rhythmic pattern and a quick three-step." "See? That's just like Jeremy!" "Oh for crying out loud. Let's stick to a Rumba. What? Oh for chrissake, let's just go home." "For Chrissake? Wait, are we Christians? Because I'm here to tell you, I've done some things. I can't afford to have holy water doused all over me!" Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Mon Nov 22, 2021 7:10 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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A joke bending the galaxy's grapevine
"What's wrong honey? You look flustered?" "After Paul's death, mom, I'm really heating up 'down south.'" "I know honey, it isn't like you were seeing a lot of action before Paul. When you do get back in the saddle make sure you get someone who can wrestle with a Salamander." "  " " ""White Haven!" "White Haven!" "The Treecats named him 'Strong Heart'!" . Last edited by cthia on Mon Nov 22, 2021 8:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Mon Nov 22, 2021 7:19 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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The Emperor's New Clothes
A charlatan sold the Emperor new clothes made out of a new material found on Mesa. After the Emperor reached into his pocket to activate the small power cells, some kid screamed out ... "The Emperor is naked as a jailbird!" Why does every Emperor have to flash his "wears." Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Fri Nov 26, 2021 4:08 pm
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Treecat Entrepreneurs
Treecats have gone into business for themselves. They are selling sneakers made out of a certain leather. They call them Pumas. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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| Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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by cthia
» Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:34 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Harrington's Memoirs
"Honey, why did you divulge your secret while you were in Andermani Space?" "Hamish, I have had to do a lot of things for Queen and Country. Diplomacy sometimes had to endure a playful nibble on the ear, a pointed caress of an arm or hand, and the occasional kiss on the neck. All in the name of diplomacy. While in Andermani Space, I refused to risk another officer having to one day discover that he had been sucking on the barrel of a gun." " "Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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