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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:15 pm

Werrf
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Honor.
Honor who?
On 'er way to another Death Ride, want to come?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
North Hollow.
North Hollow who?
Bang.
...
...
Hello?
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:18 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Werrf wrote:Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Honor.
Honor who?
On 'er way to another Death Ride, want to come?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
North Hollow.
North Hollow who?
Bang.
...
...
Hello?


I doff my barrette in proper awe, sir. You took the challenge and did better, Now me and the -cat will sing you a little ditty:

"Admiral Werrf's proved himself quite whity

"With the laurels he's sitting quite pretty

"Until someone comes along who's more whity

"And expands this poor ditty .... "
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Subaltern0   » Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:44 pm

Subaltern0
Lieutenant Commander

Posts: 124
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2010 10:49 am

In the spirit of bad limericks

Twas a dear lass named Ransom
Whose vision for the people was handsome
She took on Honor
Now she's a gonna
And her remains continue to expand some
\

I try and keep a reality stick handy, in case of emergency break glass and hit me with it**

**can also be used in case of boredom
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:27 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Subaltern0 wrote:In the spirit of bad limericks

Twas a dear lass named Ransom
Whose vision for the people was handsome
She took on Honor
Now she's a gonna
And her remains continue to expand some


Very good Limerick, more limericks or Knock-knock jokes. Any other fake county and western song in the Honorverse, come on Mangy Fur has offered to accompany you on his electric lyre? (Not that the walking flea circus plays that well, but at least its better than my singing.)
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Wed Nov 09, 2011 7:38 pm

Werrf
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

Why do Rat Poison's assassins always do what they're told?
Because Nanny knows best.


How did Mesa get its name?
Somebody asked Jar-Jar Binks.

Did you hear about the Solly Admiral looking for a means of FTL communication? He figured the only thing that travels instantly is inheritance of the chain of command, and wiped out his whole command staff testing it.

A Manty civil servant, a Peep bureaucrat and a Solly mandarin walk into a bar. The Manty orders t-whisky, and when the barman hands him his change, he shoots the money.
"Why did you do that?" asks the Peep. "In the Star Empire, we have too much money," the Manty says.
So the Peep orders a beer, drinks it, then shoots the drip tray under the pumps.
"Why did you do that?" asks the Solly. "In the Peoples Republic, we have too many unproductive drains on society."
The Solly thinks really hard, then orders a glass of vodka. When he's finished, he shoots himself.

A grav lance walks into a bar and orders t-whisky. The bartender hands over the drink and says "That'll be $15, please."
The grav lance pats its pockets, looks embarassed and says "Sorry, I'm a little short."
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Wed Nov 09, 2011 8:43 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mind Pun:

"Ok Mangy Fur, one, two, three, an-a four:"

Terrible electric lute music, and a gravel voiced RMN Chief who sounds like an Old Earth Missouri Canary (Mule) baying,

"Admiral Werrf's proved himself quite whity

"With knock-knocks he's sitting quite pretty

"Unfortunately the last jokes were quite s----y

"But until someone comes along who's more whity

"He's still the best what a pity

"It's time to end this poor ditty."

Come on you Honorversers defeat the evil Admiral Werrf in Joking I have faith you can do it.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:15 am

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

pokermind wrote:Mind Pun:

"Ok Mangy Fur, one, two, three, an-a four:"

Terrible electric lute music, and a gravel voiced RMN Chief who sounds like an Old Earth Missouri Canary (Mule) baying,

"Admiral Werrf's proved himself quite whity

"With knock-knocks he's sitting quite pretty

"Unfortunately the last jokes were quite s----y

"But until someone comes along who's more whity

"He's still the best what a pity

"It's time to end this poor ditty."

Come on you Honorversers defeat the evil Admiral Werrf in Joking I have faith you can do it.


Honor has came up with the perfect gift for the Detwillers the Raunch-co Cat-A-Matic it slices and dices, and will be hungry when they open the boxs <Yum! Detwhiller on a stick.>

This is off topic but I thought you might like a sample of Native American, or Indian as the elders still prefer, humor. Happened at a Lemhi Shoshoni (Sakajuia[?sp]of Lewis and Clark fame's people) Pow-wow about 1981 on their medicine Island in the middle of the middle fork of the Salmon River AKA the river of no return. For you Flat-landers (A mildly derogatory term for non Mountain Men) A pow-wow is a Native American socail event with dancing, gambeling, and a chance to wear Native dress. To set the scene the day before there was a feast with buffalo and salmon even a little rock oven-ed camas, Native foods. Posters advertising the event had been posted in the town of Salmon, Idaho. The leftovers were divided among the lodges, native custom to share and we were invited guests and not stinted. Well as camp cook I had about 5 dutch ovens of buffalo stew, we had salmon and eggs for breakfast Yum!

An elderly Shoshoni, Andrew Pumpkin long dead now, in full chief's regalia with long tailed war bonnet was sitting eating with us Mountain Men prior to the evenings ant-stomping, ugh, native dancing. When in pulls a white station wagon with blue California plates and out steps a family in Bermuda shorts, Hawaiian shirts, blond, and tanned a stereotypical California nuclear family right out of a Stereotypes of Us store.

Well their young son wanted to eat buffalo, and even though the feast was advertized yesterday the parents desperately hoped some Buffalo was left. The lad cried when informed the feast was yesterday.
I took pity on him, "If-in you got your heart set on chewing some buffalo with you-rn grinders rustle out the cleanest dirty plate and spoon over there and dish you out some of this buffalo stew, and I think there's a chunk of sour dough bread left, but these varmints done ate all the pie and ice-cream."
The lad stifling his tears looked at his parents about using soiled utensils and plates, the parents shooed him fore ward. He was sturing[?sp] in a pot looking for just the right piece of buffalo meat his butt in the air when:
Sitting on his stump Andrew Pumpkin crosses his arms, and in great Chiefly seriousness intones, "Um -Dig deep puppy in bottom." While we mountain men were rolling in the dirt beating it with our fists Andrew remained sitting his continence as unchanging as a cigar store Indian's. That is a sample of understated native humor very similar to Brit Whit. Yes Virginia the boy got and ate his stew.
Last edited by pokermind on Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by dscott8   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:24 am

dscott8
Commodore

Posts: 774
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:17 am

A Shpinxian walks into the doctor's office with a treecat on his shoulder. The doctor says "How can I help you?" and the treecat signs "Please get this guy off my ass."

A treecat walks into a bar and asks for a vodka martini with a celery stick. The bartender serves it, and says "That'll be eleven credits. Say, we don't get many treecats in here." The 'cat signs "At these prices, you won't."

A sphinxian was in the habit of sending his treecat down to the store every day for a pack of cigarettes. He would tuck a five-credit note under the cat's collar, and the storekeeper knew what was wanted and would send it back. One day, the man had no small bills and tucked a twenty under the colar. Three hours and the 'cat wasn't back, so the guy went looking and found the cat in a bar with a beer in his hand and a lady 'cat on his lap. "You never did this before!" said the man, and the 'cat signed back "I hever had enough cash before."
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:10 am

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

This is off topic but I thought you might like a sample of Native American, or Indian as the elders still prefer, humor. Happened at a Lemhi Shoshoni (Sakajuia[?sp]of Lewis and Clark fame's people) Pow-wow about 1981 on their medicine Island in the middle of the middle fork of the Salmon River AKA the river of no return. For you Flat-landers (A mildly derogatory term for non Mountain Men) A pow-wow is a Native American social event with dancing, gambling, and a chance to wear Native dress. To set the scene the day before there was a feast with buffalo and salmon even a little rock oven-ed camas, Native foods. Posters advertising the event had been posted in the town of Salmon, Idaho. The leftovers were divided among the lodges, native custom to share and we were invited guests and not stinted. Well as camp cook I had about 5 dutch ovens of buffalo stew, we had salmon and eggs for breakfast Yum!

An elderly Shoshoni, Andrew Pumpkin long dead now, in full chief's regalia with long tailed war bonnet was sitting eating with us Mountain Men prior to the evenings ant-stomping, ugh, native dancing. When in pulls a white station wagon with blue California plates and out steps a family in Bermuda shorts, Hawaiian shirts, blond, and tanned a stereotypical California nuclear family right out of a Stereotypes of Us store.

Well their young son wanted to eat buffalo, and even though the feast was advertized yesterday the parents desperately hoped some Buffalo was left. The lad cried when informed the feast was yesterday.
I took pity on him, "If-in you got your heart set on chewing some buffalo with you-rn grinders rustle out the cleanest dirty plate and spoon over there and dish you out some of this buffalo stew, and I think there's a chunk of sour dough bread left, but these varmints done ate all the pie and ice-cream."
The lad stifling his tears looked at his parents about using soiled utensils and plates, the parents shooed him fore ward. He was sturing[?sp] in a pot looking for just the right piece of buffalo meat his butt in the air when:
Sitting on his stump Andrew Pumpkin crosses his arms, and in great Chiefly seriousness intones, "Um -Dig deep puppy in bottom." While we mountain men were rolling in the dirt beating it with our fists Andrew remained sitting his continence as unchanging as a cigar store Indian's. That is a sample of understated native humor very similar to Brit Whit. Yes Virginia the boy got and ate his stew.

Loved the treecat jokes above
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:34 am

Werrf
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

What did the teenage treecat say when a female treecat walked past?
Cor, what a pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs...

A Hexapuma walked into a bar and said to the bartender "Give me a gin and......................................... tonic."
The bartender says "Why the big pause?"


Which part of the Manticoran constitution prevents the random killing of Hexapumas?
The native species protection claws.

What's the favourite method of countermissile bullies?
The wedgie.


What did the Apollo missile say to the Solly countermissile?
"Missed."
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