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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by waddles for desert   » Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:07 pm

waddles for desert
Admiral

Posts: 2414
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:17 am

The deckhead was missing cards,,
The Diptera was iffy,
But the buffet was open,
And Waddles was pithy.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:58 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

waddles for desert wrote:The deckhead was missing cards,,
The Diptera was iffy,
But the buffet was open,
And Waddles was pithy.

What a pitty CPO Poker Mind
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:51 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

What do you call a Dettwiler after a Treecat Marine gets his battle armor vibro-blade claws in him?

Hamburger.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Spacekiwi   » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:26 pm

Spacekiwi
Admiral

Posts: 2634
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:08 am
Location: New Zealand

How do you destroy a planet???












Drop three treecats on it after telling them the centre is made of celery. :D




The first space lord had sent some of his men off to fight for their planet against.

Upon returning to Manticore from the battle, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the space lord's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.

What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two dollars sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?"

Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!" General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"

Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"

General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds"

Soldier 3: "The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!"

General: "That's a strange but fair request, son!

As the general begins the measurement: "What! Son, where is your left pinky?"

Soldier 3: "Earth, sahr!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I may be a stinker, but i am a MANTICORAN stinker!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
`
Image


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
its not paranoia if its justified... :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:41 am

pokermind
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Runsforcelery AKA our beloved First Space Lord asked for FAQ from us fans. His example of a bad question IE Grav- Lance armed telepathic Treecat crewed LACs with a boarding party of Medusain Nomad Marines in battle armor was a hell of a Mind Pun I think. Makes me think of the following joke:

Why is the Royal Manticorian Marine DI standing in front of the first contingent of Medusain Nomad Marines recruits perplexed and scratching his head?

His usual first order to boots on the line is "Atention, Eyes Front." But his manditory Medusain Sensitivity Training informed him that the trilateral symmetry of the Medusains means they have no concept for the word 'front,' he can only stand there like a computer locked in an endless loop.

Admiral Werrf or anybody else have Medusain marine jokes, perhaps a suggestion for the DI above, and watch those vibro-cutlasses guys if I recall correctly Medusains have no shoulders for pulse rifles either.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:45 am

pokermind
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pokermind wrote:Runsforcelery AKA our beloved First Space Lord asked for FAQ from us fans. His example of a bad question IE Grav- Lance armed telepathic Treecat crewed LACs with a boarding party of Medusain Nomad Marines in battle armor was a hell of a Mind Pun I think. Makes me think of the following joke:

Why is the Royal Manticorian Marine DI standing in front of the first contingent of Medusain Nomad Marines recruits perplexed and scratching his head?

His usual first order to boots on the line is "Atention, Eyes Front." But his manditory Medusain Sensitivity Training informed him that the trilateral symmetry of the Medusains means they have no concept for the word 'front,' he can only stand there like a computer locked in an endless loop.

Admiral Werrf or anybody else have Medusain marine jokes, perhaps a suggestion for the DI above, and watch those vibro-cutlasses guys if I recall correctly Medusains have no shoulders for pulse rifles either.


Another ludicrus Mind-Pun:

Spacecat in skinsuit with grav-lance crouched under his forelimb thrusters at maximum jousting with a Sollie SD.

My fellow Americans the British are beating the pants off us here in humor, what's the matter with you clowns write some Honorverse humor, or have we Americans became a humorless lot?

OK you jokers, Joke!
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Theswerd   » Mon Nov 14, 2011 1:19 pm

Theswerd
Lieutenant (Junior Grade)

Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2011 1:14 pm

"Captain, we've got missiles incoming!"
"Quick, Ensign Expendable, call the mess hall and get them on it!"
"But captain! What will we eat on?"
"It has to be done! Now call it in!"
"Aye sir!"


Meanwhile, at the over ship....

"Sir, they've launched their Counter Missiles!"
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:25 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Theswerd wrote:"Captain, we've got missiles incoming!"
"Quick, Ensign Expendable, call the mess hall and get them on it!"
"But captain! What will we eat on?"
"It has to be done! Now call it in!"
"Aye sir!"


Meanwhile, at the over ship....

"Sir, they've launched their Counter Missiles!"


Hey a Snotty's first post and a Damn good one. What say you Admiral Werrf worrying about your laurels?
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Theswerd   » Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:32 pm

Theswerd
Lieutenant (Junior Grade)

Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2011 1:14 pm

Captain Costello leaned back in his chair as his squadron XO stepped into the office.

"Heeeeeey, Abbott, what do you have for me?"

Well," Cmdr. Abbott took a chair across the desk from his captain nd once again considered how to approach a serious matter with his somewhat... addle-minded, superior. "We have the matter of switching up the patrol schedule again. I thought we could hand some of it off onto the new tincans the admiralty sent our way."

Costello nodded. "Sounds good. What do you have in mind?"

Abbott checked his notes. "Well, the way I worked up the Schedule, I've got Hu's on First patrol, Wat's on second, and Adonahue on Third."

Costello's eye's narrowed... "You've got the schedule worked out?"

"... Yes sir..."

"And it's on your notes?"

"Yes sir."

"Then who's on First Patrol?"

"That's right."

"Who."

"Yes sir."

"The man's name on First Patrol."

"Hu."

"The man on First."

"Hu!"

"The commander of the tin can on First Patrol!"

"Hu's on First Patrol!"

"THAT'S WHAT I WANNA FIND OUT, IS WHAT'S THE GUYS NAME OF FIRST PATROL!"

"No, sir, Wat's on Second patrol!"

"I dunno who!"

"Adonahue is on Third patrol, sir!"

*Theswerd Whistles an innocent tune as he wanders away...*
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Tue Nov 15, 2011 9:01 pm

Werrf
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

Posted this a while back, but it fits better here...

First, we must remember that the Star Empire of Manticore's existence is based entirely on the Manticoran Junction. Without the Junction, not only would the older Star Kingdom have been ploughed under by the Havenite forces, but there would never have been any reason for the Kingdom to expand into Basilisk, Trevor's Star or Lynx. Indeed, it would not be too much of a stretch to say that the Star Empire of Manticore should be considered the "Wormhole" empire.

Second, we must remember that much of the Star Empire of Manticore's wealth and power is based on its carrying trade. The Royal Manticoran Navy's very existence is based on that carrying trade, which means that wherever the Merchant Marine goes, the Empire goes with it. It is in fact safe to say that the Star Empire of Manticore "roams" over all known space.

With that in mind, I suggest that the Star Empire of Manticore should be renamed:
The Holey, Roamin' Empire.
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