Topic Actions

Topic Search

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests

Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Thu Apr 15, 2021 10:26 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

MAD-4A wrote:
cthia wrote:What exactly are "snotties" who haven't yet graduated, but have survived a battle aboard ship? Boogers?

So, if they don't survive they are a loogie?

:lol:

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Thu Apr 15, 2021 10:42 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Vandals alter Pavel Young's headstone


Here lies a man who didn't get his wish to lay, then rest, with Honor.

Instead, he was laid to rest by Honor.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by MAD-4A   » Wed May 05, 2021 3:15 am

MAD-4A
Captain of the List

Posts: 719
Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2014 4:48 pm
Location: Texas

cthia wrote:Vandals alter Pavel Young's headstone


Here lies a man who didn't get his wish to lay, then rest, with Honor.

Instead, he was laid to rest by Honor.


maybe: "...laid to rest in pieces by Honor."
(or too much?)
.
-
Almost only counts in Horseshoes and Nuclear Weapons. I almost got the Hand-Grenade out the window does not count.
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Tue May 18, 2021 9:26 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

MA Style Prank

Eight Treecats were picked to showcase cutting edge technologies in the latest breakthroughs in personal thrusters used by cats in Zero-G. The MA managed to embed code that turned the Cats into forty-eight P-38s spinning wildly out of control at 3600 rpms.

That turned cutting-edge technology into bleeding-edge technology. The MA turned the Cats into instant Cuisinarts.

The event was like seeing a children's book in motion ...

See all the pussies trying to run in Zero-G!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Mon May 24, 2021 11:37 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Somewhere in the Darius System


"PROXIMITY ALERT! PROXIMITY ALERT! SHIP DETECTED!"

"FIRE GRASERS NOW!"

"Relax Captain! He's one of ours!"

"WHAA—?"

"It's a Spider sir!"

"That SOB better stop sneaking up on people! Somebody is going to blow his ass right out from under him! He knows we're all a bunch of paranoid basket cases! He almost gave me a fucking heart attack!"

"He's pretty damn good isn't he Captain?"

"No denying that. He can sneak up on a skunk and steal his stink!"

"He hasn't stolen your stink yet. Is that shit I smell in your pants?" :D


Spiders are stealthy even to their own ships. They're not in the habit of broadcasting a transponder, so, emergency defensive systems cannot tell what the hell has just snuck-up on them. :lol:

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Wed Jun 16, 2021 11:50 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

How do you hail a slave ship?

Ship Ahoe! Ship Ahoe!



****** *


The Galaxy's dumbest slavers


"I can't believe Honor let those slavers go. Every single one of them are on her shit list! I never thought she'd mellow out this much."

"She didn't."

"What do you mean? She promised them a life pod!

"Yes she did. But we're in hyper. Dumb asses. It's the closest their grey matter will ever get to the Alpha band."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Wed Jun 16, 2021 12:12 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Indiana's best friend

"Hey Indy, I hear you're finally dating that hot Grayson number?"

"Yes as a matter of fact I am."

"You dirty dog. :D There must be a lot of late night sleepwalking."

"Not really. I can't sneak into her boudoir with fifteen Armsmen always around. They give a new meaning to 'sleeping on the job.'"

"There aren't fifteen Armsmen."

"How can you tell? You can never get close enough to count them."

...


"The two of you are practicing safe sex aren't you?"

"I leave that up to her."

" Leave it up to her!? You can't leave something that important all up to her!"

"Wanna bet! Those henchmen search me every night! I rather they find a pulser than a box of condoms!"

" :o Probably not! :lol: Wait ... box? You dirty dog! :lol:"

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Mon Jun 28, 2021 2:51 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

The Alpha Launch

"So this Grand Alliance is fond of Alpha launches. It is time to activate the nanites to push their Dead Man's Switch and waste all of those system pods on thin air. Filareta didn't teach them anything about a real "Alpha launch."

"Colin likes to call it an Alpha lunch. But today it is just a snack."

****** *

Honorverse Cereal Commercial

"Look kids, this man is from San Martin. He ate all of his Wheaties, vegetables, and every damn thing else that was put on his plate."

" :o "

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Aug 15, 2021 1:28 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

What is the best laxative for an Alpha?

Put a gun to his head and say, "You will die if you talk and you will die if you don't. What do you do?"

O... shit! That's disgusting!

****** *

Albrecht Detweiler died trying to reproduce Harry Houdini's escape under water.

****** *

Long range communication

"Why won't they respond to our hails mam?"

"They can't afford to have us ask them any questions."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
Top
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Brigade XO   » Sun Aug 15, 2021 7:00 pm

Brigade XO
Admiral

Posts: 2987
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:31 pm
Location: KY

cthia wrote:[b]What is the best laxative for an Alpha?[

"Why won't they respond to our hails mam?"

"They can't afford to have us ask them any questions."


Probably even thinking about answering is going to kill too many people on an Alignment SN ship.

I think we are deep in Catch-22 here.
Top

Return to Honorverse