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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by captainofthelist   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 3:15 pm

captainofthelist
Commander

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LOL all, especially Death Ride!

My contribution is the comedian Thomas Theisman's one-liner: "Goodbye, Citizen Chairman."

Wouldn't former People's Navy officers just laugh when the got a postcard or birthday card with a pic of St. Just's head with the Theisman-installed Air Conditioning intake?

Runner up from OBS with the late Dominica Santos and Tech 1/c Earnhardt:

"Well, sit tight, and I'll do what I can in a minute," Santos said absently, her gloved fingers already feeding commands into the computers. "I've got other things on my mind right now."

"Fucking A," Earnhardt agreed hoarsely, and Santos managed a strained grin.

Sorry about the profanity, but we strive for authenticity on my heavy cruiser.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:23 pm

pokermind
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Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Re read from page 1, Good stuff every page if QE III asks my opinion I recommend she appoint Admiral Werrf as Court Jester. The knock-knock with Honor and the new death ride is to quote our British colleagues 'Brilliant!'

Any other brave souls out their ready to cast a vote for the best, or try to top it.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:32 pm

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The following was told to me by a female nurse at the hospital I worked at. Guys women have the dirtiest jokes. Modified for the Honorverse:

Lord White Haven and Honor are in front of the Terran gorilla cage at the Landing Zoo.

"Honor you're in Grayson clothes pull up your skirt and see what the gorilla Does."

Honor demurs but Lord White Haven talks her into it, the gorilla beats his chest

"Honor take your panties off then lift your skirt."

Honor again demurs but Lord White Haven finally talks her into it. The gorilla again beats his chest, but:

Lord White Haven throws Honor in the cage saying, "Now you explain to that son-of-a-bitch that you got a head ache."

PG 13 I think, Duckk?
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:35 pm

pokermind
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Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Another Mind-Pun:

Treecat school with teacher and kittens. Mathmatics class the -cats' hardest subject.

Teacher <Two plus two equals?>

Class in unison <Four>

...

Teacher <Six plus six equals?>

Mischievous Kitten <My last date.>

Next great Honorverse joke, come on I triple dog dare ya. Top Werrf's Honor/ on her death ride knock knock. I dare ya. CPO Poker Mind

PS The one above ain't it.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 10:18 pm

pokermind
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Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

pokermind wrote:
Example mind-pun:

On holoscreans on Manticore a commercial. A treecat RMMC in treecat powered armor uses his vibro-blade claws to turn a head of lettuce and a carrot into coleslaw in a blur of his six limbs.

While the announcer intones in great enthusiasm, "Introducing the newest from Raunch-co the new -Cat-o-matic it slices it dices ..."



Honor looks at the Holo orders one for each of the Detwilers. Later her husband asks what her war plans are, and Honor turns to White Haven, "Mesa will have a Detwilerburger franchise real soon. I'll do lunch."

Not another joker out there? Werrf where are you?
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:33 pm

Werrf
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Location: Cleveland, OH

What's the difference between a Dolist and a leech?
Leeches are flexible.

What do you call two Legislaturalists with a Navy?
Space invaders.


What do you call a Dettweiler in Torch orbit?
Lost.

How many High Ridge government members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Seventeen - one to screw it in, and sixteen to steal it from the Navy.


What do you call a treecat on Medusa?
A cat.

What do you get if you cross a hexapuma with a buzzsaw?
Another hexapuma.


What do you get if you cross High Ridge with an Apollo control missile?
A shot that knows exactly where it's going but has no idea what to do when it gets there.

What do you get if you cross a Superdreadnought's wedge with a Shrike?
A dispersal pattern.


What do you get if you cross Honor Harrington?
Dead.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:22 am

pokermind
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A paraphrase of one of Admiral Werrf's jokes:

Knock -knock

"Who's there"

"Honor"

"Honor who?"

"On 'er way to the Landing Dueling Field, wana watch North Hollow's demise."

CPO Poker Mind, Come on Honorverse jokers post some new ones, better ones.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:25 pm

pokermind
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Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

My problem is I'm running out of PG 13 jokes to convert, this one making fun of a disability, stuttering, is not politically correct If I'm violating Site Rules the Duckk will let me know I'm certain.

Grayson bible salesman knocks on door and hands the answering lady his card:

Phinis Hobb Grayson Bible Company, Salesman, and his contact information.

Lady says, "I'm sorry I don't have the money to buy a bible."

Phinis, "T-Tha-That's a-all ri-right, I-I'll j-ju-just r-re-read, it to y-you."

Lady, eying the size of the bible, "Oh there is an extra twenty in my purse, I'll take the bible."
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Fri Nov 11, 2011 6:08 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

pokermind wrote:My problem is I'm running out of PG 13 jokes to convert, this one making fun of a disability, stuttering, is not politically correct If I'm violating Site Rules the Duckk will let me know I'm certain.

Grayson bible salesman knocks on door and hands the answering lady his card:

Phinis Hobb Grayson Bible Company, Salesman, and his contact information.

Lady says, "I'm sorry I don't have the money to buy a bible."

Phinis, "T-Tha-That's a-all ri-right, I-I'll j-ju-just r-re-read, it to y-you."

Lady, eying the size of the bible, "Oh there is an extra twenty in my purse, I'll take the bible."


Come on jokers, punsters, and assorted weirdos we need G and PG 13 jokes set in the Honorvers. Ready for another religious joke?

A noted preacher of the Church of Humanity Unchained on Grayson was known for exactly timing the length of his sermons. Usually an hour and half of hell fire and brimstone. He timed them by sucking a live-saver.

One day one of Nimitz and Samantha's mischievous kittens saw the life-savor and cut a button off the maid's uniform and switched it for the life-saver.

Three hours of hell fire and brimstone later the mischievous kitten signed, <"I cannot tell a lie I stole your live-savor and put a button in its place, please for the love of God stop.">

The congregation shouted, "Amen!"
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by waddles for desert   » Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:50 pm

waddles for desert
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Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:17 am

A Baptist kitten would have know better in the first place!
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