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Self proclaimed one-liners

For anyone who might want to have a side conversation...you're welcome here!
Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sat Sep 10, 2016 3:37 pm

cthia
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I am not calling you an idiot; I am simply acknowledging it.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Mon Sep 19, 2016 4:46 pm

cthia
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Some people have broad enough shoulders and paint with bold enough strokes.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Sep 20, 2016 3:51 pm

cthia
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Politics is the one area where crime does pay, after the election. Kickbacks.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sun Oct 16, 2016 7:51 am

cthia
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My father...

Life is all in the conception. Seeing what others don't.
Think outside the box. That's where life is.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:41 pm

cthia
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My sister talking to her brilliant teenage daughter. It is a humorous example of how sci-fi influences our psyche...
"Well its about time!"

"Time. You're going to have to explain that concept to me mom. I see so little of it, that I find it quite difficult to localize."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:49 pm

cthia
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My fourteen year old niece...
I'd say that this country is going to hell in a hand basket, but that hand basket has gotten awfully small.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue Dec 13, 2016 8:21 pm

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Frequently in movies and anime, I see some asshole ask something like:
Why do you waste your time being nice to robots?

I want to know:
Why do you waste your time being rude to robots? What do you gain from it?

Courtesy is about you, and who you choose to be. I choose not to be an asshole, unless somebody is an asshole to me first.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue Dec 20, 2016 5:18 pm

Imaginos1892
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After picking a friend up at a beauty salon:
Why didn't you just say it was across from the auto parts store? That's the kind of directions guys understand.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Dec 20, 2016 8:30 pm

cthia
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Imaginos1892 wrote:After picking a friend up at a beauty salon:
Why didn't you just say it was across from the auto parts store? That's the kind of directions guys understand.

:lol:

Because the auto parts store is the most alien and invisible place to the average woman. What auto parts store?

Just as the feminine hygiene department is the most alien and invisible section to the average man.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by John Prigent   » Wed Dec 21, 2016 9:18 am

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Except for those whose wives are too short to reach the shelf that holds what they want. Been there, done that, still know where everything is in that department.
Cheers, John

cthia wrote:Because the auto parts store is the most alien and invisible place to the average woman. What auto parts store?

Just as the feminine hygiene department is the most alien and invisible section to the average man.
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