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Self proclaimed one-liners

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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Thu Dec 28, 2017 12:31 pm

Imaginos1892
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Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

You should not fart in front of the fireplace.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:31 pm

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

My memory ain't what it "used to be" before it was "used as can be." I think. I'm not sure. I totally can't remember.

Alzheimer's has to be a very horrific illness, for all involved.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:32 pm

cthia
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Posts: 8710
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

Imaginos1892 wrote:You should not fart in front of the fireplace.


Unless you need some kindling.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sat Jan 06, 2018 6:09 am

cthia
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Posts: 8710
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

Schit happens because everybody has an anus and they aren't all clean.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:03 am

Imaginos1892
Commodore

Posts: 860
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Helga and her trained Zealand soldiers were Plan A. Michael and I were, at best, Plan O — for Oh Shit.

—— from Chapter 6 of my alternate ending to John Wyndham's 'The Chrysalids'
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue Jan 16, 2018 11:30 pm

Imaginos1892
Commodore

Posts: 860
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Let me guess — you turn the phone up so you can hear it over the TV, then you turn the TV up so you can hear it over the phone.
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