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Self proclaimed one-liners
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by Imaginos1892
» Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:31 pm
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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You should not fart in front of the fireplace.
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by cthia
» Thu Jan 04, 2018 6:31 pm
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cthia
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My memory ain't what it "used to be" before it was "used as can be." I think. I'm not sure. I totally can't remember.
Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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by cthia
» Thu Jan 04, 2018 6:32 pm
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cthia
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Unless you need some kindling. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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by cthia
» Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:09 am
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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by Imaginos1892
» Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:03 am
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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Helga and her trained Zealand soldiers were Plan A. Michael and I were, at best, Plan O — for Oh Shit.
—— from Chapter 6 of my alternate ending to John Wyndham's 'The Chrysalids' |
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by Imaginos1892
» Wed Jan 17, 2018 12:30 am
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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Let me guess — you turn the phone up so you can hear it over the TV, then you turn the TV up so you can hear it over the phone.
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by Imaginos1892
» Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:59 am
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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I think what religious people need is not God so much as the Devil — some external force of evil that causes people to do the horrible things they do, and can be kept away by the proper incantations and rituals.
They can't admit that the Hitlers, Stalins and Mansons of the world are evil all on their own; that opposing them is entirely up to us; and that we're not like them only because we choose not to be. |
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by Michael Everett
» Sat Jan 20, 2018 7:14 pm
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Michael Everett
Posts: 2619
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One of the best "Good-Dad" lines I've come across. The speaker hates millipedes and is explaining to a friend why he didn't simply pull the "Dad-card" and ban his daughter from having a pet giant millipede of her own.
"Just 'cause I hate millipedes doesn't mean she should haffta." ~~~~~~
I can't write anywhere near as well as Weber But I try nonetheless, And even do my own artwork. (Now on Twitter)and mentioned by RFC! ACNH Dreams at DA-6594-0940-7995 |
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by Rincewind
» Thu Jan 25, 2018 6:50 pm
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Rincewind
Posts: 277
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1st speaker: "I am a firm believer in the saying 'The pen is mightier than the sword.'"
2nd speaker; (Scoffs): "How is a pen mightier than a sword?" 1st speaker: "It is if I stick it in your nuts." |
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by Imaginos1892
» Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:03 pm
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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Sanity is like anything else — best practiced in moderation.
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