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Self proclaimed one-liners

For anyone who might want to have a side conversation...you're welcome here!
Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:15 pm

Imaginos1892
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Posts: 749
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

cthia wrote:When in a discussion, people who display a calm, cool, quiet and collected can become quite dangerous when they become uncalm, uncool, unquiet and uncollected.

They can be even more dangerous when they remain calm, cool, quiet and collected.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Mon Jun 19, 2017 9:32 pm

Imaginos1892
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Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Why should a thing be more valuable just because nobody else has one?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Jul 04, 2017 1:14 am

cthia
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Posts: 7598
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

"Average lifespan of women is around 81. For men it is around 76. Why do women live longer than men?" asked my niece.

"Honey, when men get around 75, they can't handle seeing a pair of young 44 DD's anymore." Croaked my auntie.

"Seeing a pair of 75-yr-old DD's is really what kills us auntie."

My niece almost choked on her juice.


But her husband shouldn't have laughed.

"No dear. By the time men turn 75 women are pretty much sure they are never going to learn to pick up behind themselves, so we decide to just go on and shoot them."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Wed Jul 05, 2017 12:06 am

Imaginos1892
Captain of the List

Posts: 749
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Any time somebody uses the word 'wealth' on you, they're trying to rip you off.

Shooting them would be an appropriate response, but the police are likely to be unreasonable about it.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Daryl   » Thu Jul 06, 2017 10:11 pm

Daryl
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Posts: 2175
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:57 am
Location: Queensland Australia

cthia wrote:"Average lifespan of women is around 81. For men it is around 76. Why do women live longer than men?" asked my niece.

"Honey, when men get around 75, they can't handle seeing a pair of young 44 DD's anymore." Croaked my auntie.

"Seeing a pair of 75-yr-old DD's is really what kills us auntie."

My niece almost choked on her juice.


But her husband shouldn't have laughed.

"No dear. By the time men turn 75 women are pretty much sure they are never going to learn to pick up behind themselves, so we decide to just go on and shoot them."

Single girls wear diamond pendents between their breasts, 75 year olds wear their navel.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Jul 21, 2017 5:16 pm

Imaginos1892
Captain of the List

Posts: 749
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

"I'm looking for that thing."
"What thing?"
"That thing you always remember you needed after you get home."
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