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Self proclaimed one-liners

For anyone who might want to have a side conversation...you're welcome here!
Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:56 pm

Imaginos1892
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Posts: 842
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Interviewer: "What kind of job are you looking for?"
Me: "The kind where I work, and they pay me."
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Sep 15, 2017 11:54 pm

Imaginos1892
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Posts: 842
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

What do you mean, I can't be a nonconformist because I don't look like the other nonconformists?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Sep 19, 2017 4:16 am

cthia
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Posts: 8466
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

My Uncle to my sisters...
"It's quite alright to be a chauvinist, as long as you're not a pig."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Thu Sep 21, 2017 9:39 am

cthia
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Posts: 8466
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

The inherent problem of studying the chickens and the eggs to determine which comes first will never be solved because we keep eating the chickens and the eggs.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Thu Sep 21, 2017 9:41 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 8466
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

My sister is fond of saying...
There are spies amongst the flies on the wall.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Wed Sep 27, 2017 8:08 pm

Imaginos1892
Commodore

Posts: 842
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

That ain't just a fly, that's a bumble-fly!

About a really big, loud fly that got in the house. Fortunately, it was no match for the flyswatter.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sat Oct 14, 2017 9:04 pm

Imaginos1892
Commodore

Posts: 842
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

If you keep driving like that, you're going to kill us all! Or everybody else.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by pappilon   » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:50 pm

pappilon
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Posts: 446
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:29 pm

Everybody has had a day like this. You know, the one when no matter how hard Management tries nothing seems to go wrong?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:22 pm

Imaginos1892
Commodore

Posts: 842
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Drinking doesn't solve your problems. It can make you not give a shit for a while, but then you wake up with a hangover and all your problems are still there.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by pappilon   » Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:07 am

pappilon
Captain of the List

Posts: 446
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:29 pm

Money may not buy happiness but it sure can buy lots of happy memories.
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