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Self proclaimed one-liners

For anyone who might want to have a side conversation...you're welcome here!
Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:15 pm

Imaginos1892
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cthia wrote:When in a discussion, people who display a calm, cool, quiet and collected can become quite dangerous when they become uncalm, uncool, unquiet and uncollected.

They can be even more dangerous when they remain calm, cool, quiet and collected.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Mon Jun 19, 2017 9:32 pm

Imaginos1892
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Why should a thing be more valuable just because nobody else has one?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Jul 04, 2017 1:14 am

cthia
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"Average lifespan of women is around 81. For men it is around 76. Why do women live longer than men?" asked my niece.

"Honey, when men get around 75, they can't handle seeing a pair of young 44 DD's anymore." Croaked my auntie.

"Seeing a pair of 75-yr-old DD's is really what kills us auntie."

My niece almost choked on her juice.


But her husband shouldn't have laughed.

"No dear. By the time men turn 75 women are pretty much sure they are never going to learn to pick up behind themselves, so we decide to just go on and shoot them."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Wed Jul 05, 2017 12:06 am

Imaginos1892
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Any time somebody uses the word 'wealth' on you, they're trying to rip you off.

Shooting them would be an appropriate response, but the police are likely to be unreasonable about it.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Daryl   » Thu Jul 06, 2017 10:11 pm

Daryl
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cthia wrote:"Average lifespan of women is around 81. For men it is around 76. Why do women live longer than men?" asked my niece.

"Honey, when men get around 75, they can't handle seeing a pair of young 44 DD's anymore." Croaked my auntie.

"Seeing a pair of 75-yr-old DD's is really what kills us auntie."

My niece almost choked on her juice.


But her husband shouldn't have laughed.

"No dear. By the time men turn 75 women are pretty much sure they are never going to learn to pick up behind themselves, so we decide to just go on and shoot them."

Single girls wear diamond pendents between their breasts, 75 year olds wear their navel.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Fri Jul 21, 2017 5:16 pm

Imaginos1892
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Posts: 800
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

"I'm looking for that thing."
"What thing?"
"That thing you always remember you needed after you get home."
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Rincewind   » Tue Aug 01, 2017 7:36 pm

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John Prigent wrote:I can cope with bad grammar and bad spelling in an otherwise good story. But my pet actual hates are the authors who torture punctuation, or use long words just to show off their knowledge of long words. The ones who'll 'create' a 500-word paragraph that's a single sentence, just because they've heard how to use commas and semicolons to break up sentences so use them instead of full stops. And the ones who would write 'erudition' instead of 'knowledge of long words'. What happened to teaching about the Fog Index in creative writing classes?

Cheers, John

Imaginos1892 wrote:'Creative Writing' does not mean ignoring the rules of spelling and grammar.

It's a peeve I have developed in my time on fanfiction.net. Making up your own rules for language is a little too creative.


What about those writers who deliberately use long words & sentences just because they know it drives people like you nuts?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Thu Aug 03, 2017 2:28 pm

Imaginos1892
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Posts: 800
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

"We'll never talk!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Ya see, you boys have a problem. There's two of you, and I only need one answer."
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:57 pm

Imaginos1892
Commodore

Posts: 800
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

I'll have you know, I do not in any way advocate the Infinite Number Of Monkeys School Of Writing.

Although I think I've seen some of their graduates on FanFiction.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:48 am

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Imaginos1892 wrote:"We'll never talk!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Ya see, you boys have a problem. There's two of you, and I only need one answer."


:lol:

Someone, please! Arrest that man for a felony funny!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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