People get a divorce because being in love is like being stranded on a row boat in the middle of a river — each with a paddle; the only chance of making it ashore is to row together or knock the hell out of your insignificant other and take his oar.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners | |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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My 12 yr-old niece to her mother's friend who just served her wholeass of a husband with divorce papers and was in tears ...
Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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Scientists have determined that cats see color, if not quite the way we do. That being true, I have never understood how an orange cat can hunker down in green grass and think he's foolin' anybody.
If you ran a business the way they run the government, you would either be in the poorhouse or jail within six months.
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Hutch
Posts: 1831
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Probably the one I use here on about half of my posts.
IMHO always. YMMV. (which, for those that don't read acronyms, is "Im my humble opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary.") ***********************************************
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody's got to have some damn perspective around here! Boom. Sooner or later. BOOM! -LT. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5 |
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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For those idiots that just SIT there after the light turns:
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pokermind
Posts: 4002
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Hmm one of mine on driving among idiots,
Now that I'm legally blind, no longer drive, but as a passenger:
Poker CPO Poker Mind
![]() "Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART. |
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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Sloooow drivers:
Old slooooooow drivers:
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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Oh! The ones that do something right in front of a sign that says not to do it:
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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My niece to her mother.
I'm still laughing at that one. ![]() Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Imaginos1892
Posts: 1332
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