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Self proclaimed one-liners

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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:29 am

cthia
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The misinformed and easily influenced, will be misinformed and easily influenced.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by cthia   » Thu Mar 22, 2018 2:19 am

cthia
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When we strive to become gods, we fail miserably at being men, and fail hopelessly at being gods.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sat Mar 24, 2018 10:51 am

Imaginos1892
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At the bottom of all those warning signs that tell people not to do incredibly stupid things, there should be a final notice:

IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THAT AFTER READING THIS WARNING, YOU DESERVE TO DIE.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Thu Apr 05, 2018 1:53 am

Imaginos1892
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From my ongoing VanDread story:

Barnette wrote:Maybe I can't help you, but I'm not going to live with knowing I didn't even try.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:26 pm

Imaginos1892
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No matter what you write, some jackass will find a way to take offense, and try to blame it on you. I refuse to take any blame for offended jackasses.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by The E   » Thu Apr 26, 2018 3:36 am

The E
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Imaginos1892 wrote:No matter what you write, some jackass will find a way to take offense, and try to blame it on you. I refuse to take any blame for offended jackasses.


I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this post. Circumstances have conspired to make it, its content, and its placement in this thread to be the most hilarious thing I've seen in a looooooong time. (To be clear: This is not meant as a veiled insult or criticism of you, Imaginos. At some point in the future, I will explain this properly, I promise)
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue May 01, 2018 8:24 pm

Imaginos1892
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Location: San Diego, California, USA

Does Sturgeon's Law apply to the audience, too?
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Wed May 16, 2018 10:35 pm

Imaginos1892
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If you can't find something, buy a new one. The old one will turn up in no time.

If you keep something for ten years just in case you need it, you won't.

When you finally get rid of it, you'll need it a week later.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:41 pm

Imaginos1892
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If I take enough screws out of the damn thing, it has to come apart, right?

There is always one more damn screw.
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Re: Self proclaimed one-liners
Post by Imaginos1892   » Sun Jun 24, 2018 10:17 pm

Imaginos1892
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Posts: 1332
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Please stop agreeing with me. You're making me look bad.

Something I'm sure a number of us wanted to say to the late Nimitz...
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