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You might be a redneck if....

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You might be a redneck if....
Post by TFLYTSNBN   » Sun Dec 22, 2019 12:15 pm

TFLYTSNBN
Admiral

Posts: 2238
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:58 am

https://photos.app.goo.gl/RBeQYe5eG9q551cTA

If you hire the local Elk herd to mow your lawn.
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Re: You might be a redneck if....
Post by TFLYTSNBN   » Sun Dec 22, 2019 12:23 pm

TFLYTSNBN
Admiral

Posts: 2238
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:58 am

And the mighty hunter stalks his prey...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/y2C4M7eddCva4Er68

from the comfort and safety of the living room.
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Re: You might be a redneck if....
Post by cthia   » Thu Dec 26, 2019 7:37 am

cthia
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Posts: 11938
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

Your baby's mama is your grandmother's baby.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: You might be a redneck if....
Post by cthia   » Thu Dec 26, 2019 7:38 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 11938
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:10 pm

You have to cross several counties to leave your family tree.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: You might be a redneck if....
Post by TFLYTSNBN   » Thu Dec 26, 2019 11:27 am

TFLYTSNBN
Admiral

Posts: 2238
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:58 am

I had this epiphany while standing along my driveway with the slide locked back on my .45.

If you pause along the way while taking your children to school to shoot coyotes, you might be a redneck.
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Re: You might be a redneck if....
Post by Fireflair   » Fri Dec 27, 2019 3:19 am

Fireflair
Captain of the List

Posts: 549
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 5:23 pm

Two thoughts for you....

I Am My Own Grandpa

by Moe Jaffe and Dwight Latham

Many, many years ago
when I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow
who was as pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
and change my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
for she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became by uncle,
though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown up daughter who,
of course, was my step-mother

Father's wife then had a son,
who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
for he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
and it makes me blue,
Because, although she is my wife,
she's my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
then I am her grandchild
And every time I think of it,
it simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
the strangest case you ever saw,
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

AND...

Be 23... Marry a hot cougar who's husband died and enjoy the crazy rebound sex.

She has a daughter my age who my single dad thinks is a fox. (my god dad!) They date for a few months then get married.

My stepdaughter is now my stepmother. My father is my son-in-law. WTF?

I have a son with my cougar wife, my dad has a kid with my stepdaughter. My son is my father's brother-in-law. And...My baby is now my uncle. (Cue Jerry Spring...)

My dad's kid is my sister, and my stepdaughter's baby, there for they're also my grandchild. My wife is my step-mother's mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling.

I am married to my own grandma?!

I am, thus, my own grandpa.
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