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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

Join us in talking discussing all things Honor, including (but not limited to) tactics, favorite characters, and book discussions.
Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:09 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Werrf wrote:
pokermind wrote:CPO Poker Mind,"I'll bite, what's the difference between a wormhole terminus and the most destructive black hole ever discovered in the explored universe?"

Spacecat First Mangy Fur, <I'll bite too, and if I don't like the answer even claw a tad.>

Well, I'm not hiring either of you for an astrogation position, then!


CPO Poker Mind laughs, Image

Mange, <I don't get it, we are two metal biters (machinists) why would he even consider us to navagate his ship.>

"If we can't tell the difference he does not want us navigating his ship, see."

Mange, "Bleek, bleek, bleek," Image

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by blackjack217   » Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:14 am

blackjack217
Captain (Junior Grade)

Posts: 315
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2011 2:11 pm

How many battle fleet admirals does it take to hunt down a pirate?
None, they have frontier fleet peons for that sort of work

How many battle fleet admirals does it take to skrew in a light-bulb?
None, they have frontier fleet peons for that sort of work

How many battle fleet admerals does it take to start an unauthorized war against the largest alliance of star nations in history while loosing 25% of your forces for no return?
4
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:42 pm

Werrf
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

What do you call a Battle Fleet admiral with a medal for advanced tactical skill?

A liar.

What do you call a Battle Fleet squadron in command of a wormhole terminus?

A miracle.

What do you call a Battle Fleet squadron on the far side of a wormhole terminus?

Stuck.

And the number one Joke in the Honorverse IS!:

The Solarian Office of Naval Intelligence
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Tue Jan 24, 2012 8:59 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Mange, <So how are things at the Baen's Bar, stranger?>

Chief, "Don't know, I either torqued them off so much no one will respond to my posts, or scared them too bad to respond."

<Yup, just like Jackie Gleason, a blow hard who puts his foot in his mouth.>

"May be, so Mange you got a joke to top Admiral Werrf's?"

<That's a tall order, let me think, ugh, no. You got one to top Admiral Werrf?>

"Nope, but I know a mundane one."

<I can do those too. So what is yours?>

"What is the last thought through the mind of a Mesan agent?"

<Too easy, 'My Nanny is making me do this.' Bang.>

"Nope, I shouldn't have inhaled."

<Lame, chief, real lame.>

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by waddles for desert   » Thu Jan 26, 2012 1:50 am

waddles for desert
Admiral

Posts: 2414
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:17 am

blackjack217 wrote:How many battle fleet admerals does it take to start an unauthorized war against the largest alliance of star nations in history while loosing 25% of your forces for no return?
4

Be fair. The SLN admiral who went to the Beowulf terminal didn't lose ANY SD's.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Jan 26, 2012 2:07 am

pokermind
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Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

waddles for desert wrote:
blackjack217 wrote:How many battle fleet admerals does it take to start an unauthorized war against the largest alliance of star nations in history while loosing 25% of your forces for no return?
4

Be fair. The SLN admiral who went to the Beowulf terminal didn't lose ANY SD's.


CPO Poker Mind, "No he attacked in the other direction as the joke goes."

Mange, <I don't get it?>

"Maybe RFC will explain it to you, it is a historical or should I say hysterical reference."

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

After consulting a dictionary Mange replied, <I'll get you for that, my pretty.> Now an ace computer geek Mange had altered the voice from his sign-language translator to Margette Hamilton's The Wizard of OZ performance.

PS On getting a story in the Grantville Gazette one is out, but one sill in the running.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:09 pm

pokermind
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 4002
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

Warning off Topic, well kind of.

The reason I'm putting this here rather than in Free Range in Gun Nuts, Rubes, and Sea Stories is we have a new bee poster and I wanted him to be read. He talked about making a kit gun in a kind of embarrassed fashion, well my first guns were kits too, nothing to be embarrassed about. But it brought to mind a funny anecdote I wish to share about my Gunsmith buddy Elmer Johnston. Elmer has made hundreds of guns from scratch, his finishing is not a fine as some, but they work. One smart Alick at Rendezvous made a crack he used two by fours for stocks and water pipe for a barrel. Well Elmer made the gun I will describe as a joke and it is my favorite of all the ones he made, I love a good joke.

He got a piece of pipe bored it out to put in the turned down best rifle barrel commercially available. The out side he left rough the muzzle still has the pipe thread on it. He used maple for the stock, pine could crack allowing the barrel to take out an eye, but left it rough and did not round it except the cheek area so he could aim it. The patch box is a nailed on Prince Albert can. He spray painted black and orange stripes to make "Tiger Pine." The barrel bands are hose clamps, the lock has a normal sear and sear spring, but he removed the main spring drilled a hole in the percussion hammer and attached a screen door spring as the main spring the other end screwed to the fore-stock. The trigger guard is a folded steel galvanized small shed door handle. He put on the best commercial sights available, open as required in competition. He won the rifle matches at the next Rendezvous and many there after with that joke rifle.

A moral here laugh with people not at them, or you will get yours back in spades.

Fairly funny story, although as noted not about the Honorverse.

CPO Poker Mind Image SOB = Squid On Beach, and Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat First.

Mange, <He should have said, "I'll get you for that, my pretty, and your little dog too."> Now an ace computer geek Mange had altered the voice from his sign-language translator to Margette Hamilton's The Wizard of OZ performance for the quote.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by lyonheart   » Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:29 am

lyonheart
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Posts: 4853
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:27 pm

Hi Waddles for Desert,

Obviously she wasn't one of the four. :-)

But her intelligence was the same as the other four deuces. (Rajampet, Byng, Crandall, and Filaretta)

So what's the point of having a fifth deuce rather than an ace up your sleeve?

Because BF doesn't have any aces. :-)

And thank you BlackJack217 for making me smile.

L


waddles for desert wrote:
blackjack217 wrote:How many battle fleet admerals does it take to start an unauthorized war against the largest alliance of star nations in history while loosing 25% of your forces for no return?
4

Be fair. The SLN admiral who went to the Beowulf terminal didn't lose ANY SD's.
Any snippet or post from RFC is good if not great!
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Werrf   » Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:12 am

Werrf
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1549
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

(Adapted (badly) from the 'how do you get X in a mini?' joke series)

How do you get four hexapumas in a cutter?

Two in the front, two in the back.

How do you get four Gryphons in a cutter?

Take the hexapumas out first.

How do you get four unicorns in a cutter?

Have them stow their horns in the overhead compartments provided.

How do you get two Sphinx in a cutter?

Leave Manticore orbit and turn right at Hephaestus.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by Silly Solly Sally   » Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:40 pm

Silly Solly Sally
Ensign

Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:02 pm

Mind if I take my hand at this? Don't know if it'll be funny but...

Manpower hosted a 'Couples Night' for their scientists, after finally having figured out how to isolate a gene code for excessive intelligence. After a few drinks, someone yelled 'Let's Dance!', so people started to break out some moves.

The next day, Albrecht Detweiler made port and called his son, only to hear of the great tragedy.
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