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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Jun 04, 2017 3:17 am

cthia
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Posts: 7432
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

Newest funny between my niece and I. I simply love that kid.

"Uncle, have I missed why the forum discusses the captured Solly ships so much?"
"Beats me honey. All I know is she has shown herself to be the forum's QueenUnimatrix 001.

Discussing worthless Solly junk has become a living, breathing entity that itself begets life. Somewhere amongst the many offspring is Seven of Ninety-Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to the Gorge.

You will be assimilated. Resistance... is infantile!"
"Funny Uncle! In that case the only way to defeat her is for someone to plant a command into the Gorge's collective consciousness to... s-l-e-e-p."
" :lol: "

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Mon Jun 05, 2017 1:23 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 7432
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

"May we taste each other to see if we're compatible?"

Whatta pickup line! Doesn't always work... but boy when it does! Many ppl are really lovin' the cats.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by pokermind   » Tue Jun 06, 2017 3:04 pm

pokermind
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Posts: 4001
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:58 am
Location: Jerome, Idaho, USA

cthia wrote:"May we taste each other to see if we're compatible?"

Whatta pickup line! Doesn't always work... but boy when it does! Many ppl are really lovin' the cats.


Andermani Treecat, "Das ist Verboten!"

Image

"Fire!"

Poker, Mange, and the Andermani Treecat.
CPO Poker Mind Image and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.

"Better to be hung for a hexapuma than a housecat," Com. Pang Yau-pau, ART.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Jun 09, 2017 6:46 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 7432
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

One day at the Admiralty

"GODDAMMIT! IF ANOTHER SOB COMES IN HERE WITH SOME LAME ASS IDEA ABOUT HOW TO USE A SOLLY SD I'M GONNA BEND HIM OVER PULL DOWN HIS LITTLE PINK PANTIES TAKE ME ONE OF THOSE WORTHLESS PIECES OF JUNK AND GREASE HER UP REAL GOOD WITH SOME WD-40 STAND HER UP ON END AND SHOVE IT UP HIS CANDY ASS!"


"You can relax now sir. That rant just took care of the last of 'em!"

"What?!"

"You may be the Third Space Lord, but everyone knows you're the first Lord when it comes to blistering battle steel!"

"What? You mean all week..."

"Yep, all week we've been sending those hapless SDs in here to the breakers. Hamish's idea."

"Why I oughta—am I really that bad?"

"'Fraid so sir. You even blistered battle steel off some of the ships we needed."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by fallsfromtrees   » Fri Jun 09, 2017 9:42 am

fallsfromtrees
Vice Admiral

Posts: 1730
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:51 am
Location: Mesa, Arizona

cthia wrote:One day at the Admiralty

"GODDAMMIT! IF ANOTHER SOB COMES IN HERE WITH SOME LAME ASS IDEA ABOUT HOW TO USE A SOLLY SD I'M GONNA BEND HIM OVER PULL DOWN HIS LITTLE PINK PANTIES TAKE ME ONE OF THOSE WORTHLESS PIECES OF JUNK AND GREASE HER UP REAL GOOD WITH SOME WD-40 STAND HER UP ON END AND SHOVE IT UP HIS CANDY ASS!"


"You can relax now sir. That rant just took care of the last of 'em!"

"What?!"

"You may be the Third Space Lord, but everyone knows you're the first Lord when it comes to blistering battle steel!"

"What? You mean all week..."

"Yep, all week we've been sending those hapless SDs in here to the breakers. Hamish's idea."

"Why I oughta—am I really that bad?"

"'Fraid so sir. You even blistered battle steel off some of the ships we needed."

This really needs to cross posted to all of the "how to use solly SDS chains"
The only problem with quotes on the internet is that you can't authenticate them -- Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:50 am

cthia
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Posts: 7432
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

BREAKING NEWS

A very old wiretapping of a secret meeting in the House of Lords reminiscent of the Watergate scandal of yore is found and "leaked" to the public. Parts of audio is inaudible as the subject seems to be spouting incoherent vehemence through gritted teeth...

"Have you all gone mad! That out of control lunatic simply cannot be allowed to have a seat in the Lords!"

"Why not?"

" :o " ...

"BECAUSE IT'D ONLY BE A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THAT HOLIER-THAN-THOU JUMPED-UP BASEBORN BITCH..."

"#@&%$" (bleep)

"#%$@#@##@$@#$@#$" (inaudible)

"@%&%" (bleep)

"IS LORD OF THE WHOLE PHUCKING REALM!"

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Jun 16, 2017 1:25 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 7432
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

The interview heard around the galaxy


"Miss Palane, is Victor Cachat simply a romantic teddy bear in bed?"

Thandi's features hardened and Victor's fears for the highly popular well-known brash reporter skyrocketed as Victor was well aware that the only thing she hated more than personal questions is one particular reporter and now they are one in the same. He saw her naturally selected, high gravity thickly toned muscles begin to harden, coiled to strike. Suddenly to his relieved astonishment, Thandi's pained expression softened, in recollection, and then she proceeded to kiss and tell never stopping until she ran out of breath—much to Victor's chagrin, surprise, pride and disheveled shock. :oops:

It is tagged as the fastest traveling news source ever. Reaching way out beyond the Verge faster than a streak boat on steroids.

By the time her expression hardened again signaling the end of the interview, the brash reporter was swimming in slop.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:46 am

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 7432
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

As Victor watched her, something awakened in him. Her moves were magical. How could she get such a thickly toned, muscle ridden body to move like that? She called it "busting a move."

It was intoxicatingly stimulating. And as he listened to the beat of this strange music, he found his feet moving. He wanted to join in. He had purchased this thing called an ipod from an old antiques store in Old Chicago and presented it to her, even though she never told him why she needed "something old."

Her movements were now bordering on the poetic. This Michael Jackson character is bad. And his beat is driving Thandi wild... "It don't matter if you're Black or White."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Wed Jun 21, 2017 7:41 pm

cthia
Fleet Admiral

Posts: 7432
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

The first cat has been offically hired in a naval capacity as a truth detector and interrogator to assist the navy in interviewing captured SLN personnel and has been spending an inordinate amount of time at the admiralty. All is well except for one thing. It seems he has acquired some rather colorful two-leg language and can blister battle steel as well as any of 'em.

"How you liking your new job?," asked Elizabeth upon a subsequent visit to the palace.

<Humping Hera. Goddamn lame brain two-legs. If it wasn't for the SLN liking celery I'd have to give them a phucking goose egg on the sentience scale! Silly rat-bastard sons of bitches>

" :o :o"

"I think it's high time we pulled you out of the admiralty."

<Phucking A?>

It shocked Ariel so much he began signing in incoherent old archaic cat...

<Mmmm...meow mmm...meow>

:oOPS!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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