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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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As sort of a pep talk for the world during these trying times. A repost . . .
************Honor at the Bat************* by cthia The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Home Fleet ships that day; The score stood four to two with but two more fleets to play; And then when D'Orville died up first and Kuzak did the same A sickening silence fell on the ships that had remained. A straggling few rose up to fight but only in despair, They knew they'd only die, in haughty grandeur there. Clinging to their stations, hope eternal in the breast; All we need is Sally—Mander she's our best. They thought, if only Honor could get but a whack at that, They'd put up even credits, now, with Honor at the bat. But Chin preceded Honor in shaping what's at stake, When Smirnoff's LACs chimed in, holy hell had lit the cake. Upon that stricken list of ships melancholy sat, There seemed but little chance of Honor getting to the bat. But McKeon let rip a single, raised hell in Genevieve's packs And Alice Truman's Katanas tore the hell outta Haven's LACs. When debris had shifted, CIC plotted what had occurred Although plenty was left of Second, just enough was left of Third. Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell; It rumbled in the quadrant, it echoed 'Oh? Do tell.' A prayer went thru the junction and an answer came at that, For Honor—mighty Honor, was advancing to the bat. There was ease in Honor's manner as she hypered into place; There was purpose to Honor's bearing, and scorn on Honor's face. And when she ignored the remnants, of Third Fleet in the realm, No single spacer could ever doubt, 'twas Honor at the helm. Thousands counted on her as she wiped her hands like dirt Had settled between her fingers, but the brass gleamed on her shirt. While the cocky Genevieve placed hands upon her hips Defiance gleamed in Honor's eye, a sneer curled Honor's lips. The enormous salvo shot from the massive pods she'd rolled; Genevieve said, "No worry, they're too far out I'm told." But then Chin contemplated 'of all the lunacy in the land, If Third Fleet was just destroyed, then who was this at hand?' Close by sturdy Apollo, the missiles unheeded sped – "They're much too far to reach," said Chin, "Strike One," Honor said. From the bridges, black with people, there went up a muffled roar; Like the beating of the bulk-heads on a stern and distant shore. "Kill her! Kill her Honor!" Shouted someone in the stand. And it's likely they'd a-killed him had not Honor raised her hand. With a smile of Tester's author'ty Honor's visage shown; She stilled the rising tumult; She bade her ship go on. When comprehension dawned on Chin she threw a mortal fit, "Eighth Fleet! The Salamander! Hyper Out!" she said, "Oh shit!" The Salamander didn't linger—turned to tactical and said "Target that other fleet, fire sixty missiles instead. By the time they reach them, Strike Two, Fifth will all be dead." The sneer is gone from Honor's lips as she pounded Fifth to its fate There's calm and cool on Manticore, no more fighting as of late. And Tourville's confidence is shaken as Honor lets it go; His hopes of winning another gone, from the force of Honor's blow. Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright; The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light, And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout; Haven came to play with gall—mighty Honor struck them out. Conversation between Samantha and Hamish "Sam! Why are you wearing that bright-red lipstick and mini-skirt, and why are you pulling your hair out!" <Listen here Hamish, I'm a female Cat, I'm in heat, and I've got to get myself some trim!> "Trim?" <Cat! Hamish! Cat! So, you either better make whatever call you have to make to the Admiralty and get Nimitz here, or you're going to have an irritable, uncontrollable irate Cat with claws sitting on your lap. Think of Honor on a rampage. Now I know why she goes on a rampage> Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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If instead Schrödinger had a treecat
<Hell no you are NOT putting me in that box> "You can give me the results of the experiment so I won't have to open the box." <I can give you the results of the experiment when you try to close the box. You will die. I understand superpositioning. I will be positioned all over your ass if you continue. I'll be here, and there, and everywhere, all at once!> Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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ThinksMarkedly
Posts: 4169
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So Schrödinger's treecat was actually borrowed from Heisenberg? |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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The purpose of Schrödinger's experiment was to demonstrate the problem he had with certain aspects of Heisenberg's interpretation of quantum mechanics. I imagine the treecat decided to help his doomed predecessors. <Free my people> Schrödinger chose cats because they've got nine lives and were going to need every one of them. The treecat Nine of Nine learned about the Uncertainty Principle via two-leg politics. <Two-legs make up their mind much faster than People in all things. But they change their mind again and again and again. They even change their mind after they choose a mate and marry. They should take lots of time like People do. We don't change our mind at all. Not even once. Oh well, two-legs did come up with the Uncertainty Principle. I guess that's why they learned to count so well. They need something to tell them when they're right> ****** * Conversation just before Oyster Bay "I'm telling you, there was a sensor ghost." "Well we've been searching for hours and hours and hours and we've found nothing, not even a little ectoplasm." "Well you don't have to be sarcastic." "We're just going to give up the ghost. One of these days you're going to holler wolf one time too many!" "WOO WOO WOO WOLF! WOO WOO WOO WOLF!" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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ThinksMarkedly
Posts: 4169
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Was that treecat captured by the Borg? |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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The Borg assimilating empathy? Amusing! or The stronger mind of a treecat assimilating the collective. Hmm. That would yield Borg cubes invading systems, cutting open starships and beaming out all of their celery. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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Brigade XO
Posts: 3115
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Somehow I don't see the Borg being particularly apprciateive of trying to assimilate a Treecat.
Tough sledding comes to mind...the kind with 40º slope, rocks, branches and a lake with the thinnest glaze of ice covering 30 meters of very cold water about sums that up. |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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The city of Leonard? Let me guess. Where everyone is related, look alike and think alike. If you've seen one you've seen 'em all?
Conviction rate in Leonard is zero. Everyone simply claims "It wasn't me." "But you were caught on tape." "It wasn't me, it was one of my clones." Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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cthia
Posts: 14951
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It was brilliant that Anton and Cathy found the smoking gun against Georgia on Smoking Frog.
What's the commonality between a carbon copy and a clone? They both have negatives and need time and science to develop in the dark. Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense |
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof. | |
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Brigade XO
Posts: 3115
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So, when do we see "clone fade" when the genetic equipment (DNA) starts to wear out, or worse, starts to throw minor mutations till they accumulate too many to survive. That is survive in both the sence that it creates a fatal development flaw (or accumulation of "almost rights") in the fetus or the individuals start developing lethal problems over time. That can take years.
Or do they just come out in lighter shades? Do the vats have an amber light for Printer Error? Do the clone factory staff get high and or brain damaged from the Toner used in making the copies? |
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