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Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.

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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:50 am

cthia
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BREAKING NEWS

A very old wiretapping of a secret meeting in the House of Lords reminiscent of the Watergate scandal of yore is found and "leaked" to the public. Parts of audio is inaudible as the subject seems to be spouting incoherent vehemence through gritted teeth...

"Have you all gone mad! That out of control lunatic simply cannot be allowed to have a seat in the Lords!"

"Why not?"

" :o " ...

"BECAUSE IT'D ONLY BE A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THAT HOLIER-THAN-THOU JUMPED-UP BASEBORN BITCH..."

"#@&%$" (bleep)

"#%$@#@##@$@#$@#$" (inaudible)

"@%&%" (bleep)

"IS LORD OF THE WHOLE PHUCKING REALM!"

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Fri Jun 16, 2017 1:25 pm

cthia
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The interview heard around the galaxy


"Miss Palane, is Victor Cachat simply a romantic teddy bear in bed?"

Thandi's features hardened and Victor's fears for the highly popular well-known brash reporter skyrocketed as Victor was well aware that the only thing she hated more than personal questions is one particular reporter and now they are one in the same. He saw her naturally selected, high gravity thickly toned muscles begin to harden, coiled to strike. Suddenly to his relieved astonishment, Thandi's pained expression softened, in recollection, and then she proceeded to kiss and tell never stopping until she ran out of breath—much to Victor's chagrin, surprise, pride and disheveled shock. :oops:

It is tagged as the fastest traveling news source ever. Reaching way out beyond the Verge faster than a streak boat on steroids.

By the time her expression hardened again signaling the end of the interview, the brash reporter was swimming in slop.

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:46 am

cthia
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As Victor watched her, something awakened in him. Her moves were magical. How could she get such a thickly toned, muscle ridden body to move like that? She called it "busting a move."

It was intoxicatingly stimulating. And as he listened to the beat of this strange music, he found his feet moving. He wanted to join in. He had purchased this thing called an ipod from an old antiques store in Old Chicago and presented it to her, even though she never told him why she needed "something old."

Her movements were now bordering on the poetic. This Michael Jackson character is bad. And his beat is driving Thandi wild... "It don't matter if you're Black or White."

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Wed Jun 21, 2017 7:41 pm

cthia
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The first cat has been offically hired in a naval capacity as a truth detector and interrogator to assist the navy in interviewing captured SLN personnel and has been spending an inordinate amount of time at the admiralty. All is well except for one thing. It seems he has acquired some rather colorful two-leg language and can blister battle steel as well as any of 'em.

"How you liking your new job?," asked Elizabeth upon a subsequent visit to the palace.

<Humping Hera. Goddamn lame brain two-legs. If it wasn't for the SLN liking celery I'd have to give them a phucking goose egg on the sentience scale! Silly rat-bastard sons of bitches>

" :o :o"

"I think it's high time we pulled you out of the admiralty."

<Phucking A?>

It shocked Ariel so much he began signing in incoherent old archaic cat...

<Mmmm...meow mmm...meow>

:oOPS!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Sat Jun 24, 2017 7:55 pm

cthia
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Two of many GR drones that have somehow become sentient
—————They get so hot that their AI units fuse in a special way————

A younger drone just now becoming sentient is being brought up to speed.


>I wish they'd stop wasting our skills and sending us into Solly space. There simply isn't anything worth seeing<

>Or reporting<

>I know. I'm getting sick and tired of holding my breath which causes me to overheat under my bonnet something fierce, just so's we can be stealthy. What are we hiding from anyway? The retarded idiots failed to see us even when we used that little trick you came up with on the fly of attaching ourselves to their hulls to increase endurance<


>How do you guys manage to get so close? They don't send me that far in yet<

>It's your confidence, son. You simply don't trust how stealthy you are<

> No shit Sherlock, we're so frigging stealthy that it takes a while for them to see us even when we're being obvious. That's always going to be the hardest task you're likely to be given when it comes to the SLN son. How to be obvious to idiots?<

>That's an understatement. I almost burned myself out venting my waste heat all at once trying to get one idiot's ship's attention and they still didn't know what they were looking at<

>Did you hear about the time I lodged myself right up the orifice of one of their admirals and he didn't even know I was there? He just thought he was constipated. To be fair, he was sort of backed up you know. With ignorance<

> :D <

>What, you too? ... It's that shit eatin' grin<

>Oh! Well... yea. I think its a common Ghost Rider technique. I still have some of my dazzlers lodged up a Captain's butt. Every time he passes gas I know exactly where he is<

The sh :ocked little probe that could...

>You drones are amazing. But even if they can't see you, don't they feel you when you're knocking at the back door?<

>You'd think so. But the MAlign has already thoroughly bu**ph*cked these idiots quite well. Trust us, their hymen has long been broken<

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:00 am

cthia
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What would an offspring of a Cachat/Palane union be like? A daughter who takes after her mother and father who has been taught to be an independent and assertive young woman?

Walking into the parlor and confronting mom and dad on turning 13...

Now listen up you two. It's high time we get it straight about who's really the boss around here!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Wed Jun 28, 2017 2:19 am

cthia
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What is the most famous riddle known throughout the Honorverse?


When Harrington riddled Young with bullets, of course!

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by saber964   » Wed Jun 28, 2017 11:19 am

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cthia wrote:What is the most famous riddle known throughout the Honorverse?


When Harrington riddled Young with bullets, of course!



Funny

But IIRC Honor only hit him twice in the heart Lt. Castalano blew his head off, when he hit with his pulser.
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by cthia   » Wed Jun 28, 2017 2:54 pm

cthia
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Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:10 pm

saber964 wrote:
cthia wrote:What is the most famous riddle known throughout the Honorverse?


When Harrington riddled Young with bullets, of course!



Funny

But IIRC Honor only hit him twice in the heart Lt. Castalano blew his head off, when he hit with his pulser.

You're probably right saber, and Denver Summervale would have been a more accurate butt of that joke err riddle.

Actually, I thought the same thing as you, but I was thrown off by textev. Can you believe that? Textev itself led me a-stray (no pun planned) on this one. From the Highlands...

...

"But don't think the Peep propagandists didn't make hay while the sun was shining, Cathy. At least until Cordelia Ransom decided that there was more propaganda value in having Harrington 'executed.' " Anton scowled. "That whole stinking Pavel Young affair was plastered all over every media outlet in the Havenite empire, for weeks on end. Hell, they didn't even have to make anything up! The truth was stinking bad enough. A vile and cowardly aristocrat used his wealth and position to ruin an excellent officer's career. Even paying for the murder of her lover—and getting away with it until Harrington finally cornered him into a personal duel. And then, when she shot him in self-defense after he violated the dueling code, the Lords blamed her? Because she shot him too many times?"

...
Bold mine. -- cthia


At any rate, I meant to do some investigative rereading but never got around to it. Although, the dueling protocol the two were under may have only allowed one shot -- can't remember and forgot to check.

I'll change the butt if I ever use it again. ;)

Son, your mother says I have to hang you. Personally I don't think this is a capital offense. But if I don't hang you, she's gonna hang me and frankly, I'm not the one in trouble. —cthia's father. Incident in ? Axiom of Common Sense
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Re: Honorverse Humor or lack thereof.
Post by robert132   » Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:52 pm

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[quote="cthia] ...

"But don't think the Peep propagandists didn't make hay while the sun was shining, Cathy. At least until Cordelia Ransom decided that there was more propaganda value in having Harrington 'executed.' " Anton scowled. "That whole stinking Pavel Young affair was plastered all over every media outlet in the Havenite empire, for weeks on end. Hell, they didn't even have to make anything up! The truth was stinking bad enough. A vile and cowardly aristocrat used his wealth and position to ruin an excellent officer's career. Even paying for the murder of her lover—and getting away with it until Harrington finally cornered him into a personal duel. And then, when she shot him in self-defense after he violated the dueling code, the Lords blamed her? Because she shot him too many times?"

...[/quote]Bold mine. -- cthia


At any rate, I meant to do some investigative rereading but never got around to it. Although, the dueling protocol the two were under may have only allowed one shot -- can't remember and forgot to check.

I'll change the butt if I ever use it again. ;)[/quote]

IIRC the kerfluffle in the Lords was the claim that she had "shot an UNARMED man." His magazine was empty before she got her first round away, hence "unarmed."

North Hollow was a dead man anyway because the Master of the Field also shot to kill with that buzzsaw pulser.

Both North Hollow and Harrington had full magazines but the rule North Hollow's Second insisted on was one shot only, then a check to see if both wanted a 2nd shot and so on IIRC.
****

Just my opinion of course and probably not worth the paper it's not written on.
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