With all of the advanced technology in the Honorverse, Emily still has to start her chair the old-fashioned way when the battery runs down...
Push it and pop the crutch.
Newsflash!
The mystery of male deaths by aircar is solved.
It is not spontaneous combustion.
It has been determined to be most unhealthy to piss off Siri while she's cycling.
What do you call a hexapuma that's lost two legs in battle?
A quadripumic.
What is the product of the black and white side of theology in the Honorverse?
A Gray-Son.
What is the first thing that the Masadans said after leaving Grayson and landing on Masada?
Where are my f##king keys?
Protector's Palace is responding to a recent rash of treecat advertisement pranks.
A couple of recent ads of a miscreant treecat's guaranteed weight loss procedure...
CATTY CUTS
We cut to the chase and trim the fat.
Cat E. Cuts, MD.
GASTRIC BYPASSES
A trimmer ass with lesser gas.
We cut out the middle man.
A miscreant Barber ad...
PERFECT CUTS
We take your scalp seriously.
Of course, what is Shannon Foraker's favorite Old Earth song?
"Oops, I did it again."
What did Mueller use as his defense?
Malarkey.
Who investigated the Mueller School Dome sabotage?
Key-stone Cops.
What is Honor's secret relation to Benjamin?
Key to his heart.
Why did it take so long to indict Mueller?
He remained low-key.
What is Honor's alter ego?
Benjamin's skeleton Key.
How did the Maccabeans gain access to Protector's Palace?
They used a passed Key.
Honor asked "do you want him dead or alive?" What did Benjamin whisper to her?
Kill him and throw away the key.
What was Lord Mueller's alter ego?
The Key to all evil.
What is the nickname given Honor by her subjects?
The Key to happiness and success.
What does prolong mean to Grayson?
The Key to immortality.
What would Mesa call a cloned treecat?
A copycat.
What does Harrington ask her recon teams right after they report back?
Scout's honor?
Why is Harrington such a successful bluffer?
Word of Honor.
What is Benjamin's alter ego?
The Key Master.
What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a treecat?
A treecat that's no longer hungry.
What do you call a treecat standup comic?
Pussy on a shtick.
A treecat's religion.
Catholic.
What do you call treecat phone sex?
Cat calls.
Treecat conversations
<You don't love me>
<But I do, love. I can't live without you. I swear, if you die, I'll die. You know that!>
<You're always so emotional>
<Of course you know that if you ever lie to me I'll know it>
<I'd be stupid to lie to you dear, knowing that you'll sing about it forever. And if you don't, some other Singer will gladly pick up the tune for you>
<What's your secret to a long marriage?>
<Whatever you do, don't think it>
<How do you know when you've found her g-spot?>
<That's when she really sings>
<He hasn't said it but I'm certain that her father hates me>
<Does my pregnancy make me look fat?>
<You bastard!>
<But I didn't say anything>
<You were thinking it!>
Poor treecats. What must it be like to be a male that can't lie to his girl?
In the Men's cloakroom...
"How did you talk Emily into allowing another woman into the marriage Hamish?"
"Oh it was nothing. I'm an aristocrat. She knows that we are big on tradition and we like to do everything with pride and honor. I merely told her that I wanted to play with the pride of the fleet and screw with honor."
<Where's everyone going?!>
<You didn't hear? The Two Legs found some Mesans!>
<They did?! So what's the plan?!>
<We're going to join the fraternity!>
<What fraternity?>
<The Royal Order of the Cats—DeKap an Alpha New!>
<Huh?>
<Cut their fucking heads right off!>
Meanwhile, in the War Room
"Nimitz, what is that simulation you're running on the computer?"
<Hi Pat. I'm gaming out how many Mesans I can safely kill without personal injury if I attack first>
<This attack pattern... yields a total of 21 dead every time. I think I will name it "21 Hack Jack." Now I have a canned response>
""
Why have you been pacing about so much lately Ariel?"
<Lizzy, I can't wait to find the MAlign. For once in my life, I'm gonna shed my royal manners and bite off a lot more than I can chew!>
In a unanimous decision Honor Harrington is voted on to be the Mother of all genetic cocktails—just edging Elizabeth Winton out by the vote of a single finger. Go figure.
My niece is having a field day laughing her ass off. She even has my sister joining in on the fun. My sister says to me, "Your niece is threatening to sue you for taking advantage of a minor."
"What? She won the bet and I paid up."
"Yes, but she says that you bet her a thousand bucks against the posts being popular. She says that they are insanely popular and that you should reward her insanely. "
"I told you not to bet her." "Five thousand views in a month was a fair target. And it seemed really safe for me, sis."
After a thousand views a day for three days and still surging, my niece says the bet could have netted her a gold mine. "I haven't had such certain investment opportunities in a long time, mom. I could have bet him 5000 bucks for five thousand views in a week and still won. It has averaged over five thousand views per week. Over fifteen thousand total views in three weeks time. It has tripped the odometer from 184,986 starting views! And it is right at a thousand views a day after tripping the odometer Friday. Quickly approaching twenty thousand views. "I can't believe that my Uncle would take advantage of his favorite niece—sweet lil' ol' me this way."
Then my niece gets on the phone...
"Wait'll Duckk finds out that your posts broke the website!"
"What?! OMG!"
I am thrilled that you all enjoyed them. Thanks! and...
HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!
and, Mangy Fur the Smart Alick Spacecat.